The Losing One || Sirius Black

30. Realizations

He reached a trembling hand and got ahold of the white material, mouth going dry. Come on, just... open it. And he did.

He was scared of what he will see. Scared of what this meant for their friendship if his theory turned out to be true. Scared of what he will do if he saw a bloodthirsty animal.

But, as soon as Sirius' eyes fell on Remus, all those thoughts melted in an instant. The boy laid peacefully in bed, sleeping. You could see the pure exhaustion on his face even now. Sirius slipped the cloak off, he needed his own two eyes to look at the sight in front of him without any buffer. He was scared that the cloak maybe somehow altered the scene, made it less harmful, but it didn't.

That's when the realization hit Sirius. Remus wasn't some murderous, Dark Creature who craved only destruction. He was just a boy. Just a boy, same as Sirius.

Sirius stared at him. Half of the boy's face was illuminated in morning sunshine, making his sandy hair look golden. It was like he was looking at something angelic, not something dark or bloodthirsty. He didn't move his eyes from Remus' face as he closed the curtains behind him and sat down in the visitor's chair.

Remus looked so peaceful, so innocent in this setting. His honey-colored skin stood out in the sea of white sheets making him look like the center of some painting. A painting painted by the most talented artis in the world.

Sirius just couldn't make himself look away. It was such an ethereal scene that it seemed like his soul would leave his body if he removed the gaze even for a second. There was that same feeling he felt while helping Remus walk pass the bluish moonlight, but then the boy stirred.

This action snapped Sirius out of his dazed state, making him shake his head in an attempt to clear his mind. But when he looked back at Remus, there was another detail to the painting.

As boy moved, the sleeve of his left arm rose up, uncovering a bit of skin. And there they were. Silver and muted white. Huge and small. Some fresher than others. Scars roamed Remus' skin, but to Sirius they didn't look scary. They looked painful.

That's when another realization hit him. Remus didn't ask for this. He didn't ask to be cut all over his body. He didn't ask to be in hospital bed every month. He probably just wanted to be a regular Hogwarts student whose biggest worries were grades.

Sirius finally figured everything out. Remus wasn't some werewolf. He was just Remus. The same boy Sirius met all those months ago at Hogwarts Express. The same boy who showed Sirius that he wasn't alone. The same boy who was brilliant, creative, thoughtful and kind. The same boy who was his friend.

This was just another part of that boy, another part that should be excepted. All human beings were made from light and dark. Remus wasn't any different and Sirius couldn't stop thinking how all of him should be cherished.

Remus' words from that night on the balcony echoed in his head.

"You can try and make the piece click to the incorrect part, but you will have to reshape it, maybe even destroy it accidently. Is it still the same puzzle piece then?"

Remus was just perfect exactly as he was, werewolf or not. There wasn't any need to reshape him, because he already clicked into Sirius' puzzle.

Sirius tilted his head to the side and smiled despite himself, "The odd two out.", he whispered to the room even though nobody couldn't hear him.

New determination rose in Sirius. He will try to help his friend in any way he can, just like Remus helped him. Sirius will show him that he wasn't alone either. He will keep this secret until Remus is ready to share it with all of them. And most importantly, Sirius will make sure that Remus being a werewolf does not change anything when it comes to the Marauders. He will make sure James and Peter except this part of the boy when the time comes. He will make sure that the puzzle piece stays intact.

Sirius stayed at the Hospital Wing a little longer, admiring the sight in front of him. He couldn't believe how truly strong Remus actually was. Some research on the werewolf transformations will have to be done if he wanted to really help the boy. There must be some way to ease the consequences of the full moon, maybe make it less painful somehow.

Sooner than later, it was almost seven in the morning, which meant Sirius needed to get back to the dorm if he wanted to bring Remus breakfast like always and evade Madam Pomfrey.

James did have a lot of questions when he just showed up happy after seeing him full of pure terror, but Sirius managed to talk his way out of it. The constant nightmares at least proved to be quite a good excuse.

He, James and Peter went to the Great Hall, filled their trays with everything Remus liked until they could barely carry them without something falling off and made their way to the Hospital Wing.

Even Madam Pomfrey got used to their visits. She didn't try to stop them anymore if Remus was awake. Now, she would give them a small smile while leading them to see their friend.

Sirius saw Remus for the second time that day, but now the boy was reading a book while propped on the pillow. Big smile spread on Remus' face at the sight of them making Sirius' heart beat a bit faster. He felt so honored to be one of the reasons Remus smiled after such rough night, like he was the light of someone else's dark tunnel.

"You don't happen to own a cat?", Sirius asked before anyone could say anything else. Remus looked at him funnily, "No, why?"

Sirius smirked to himself, "Just asking. You seem like a cat person."

Him, James and Peter sat down at the visitor's chairs and started entertaining Remus immediately. They talked about nonsense, future pranks and mischiefs like always, but now it felt different to Sirius. It felt so much more special every time he made the boy laugh knowing the weight and seriousness behind Remus' flu. He was still amazed how someone so young could be so strong.

Being a werewolf didn't define who Remus Lupin was. Remus Lupin defined who Remus Lupin was and right now all Sirius could see was a boy happy to enjoy the company of his best friends.