A Bang and a Whimper

8

"Jenna's enthusiasm for my storytelling.... Jane read her those books. She craves the stories."

"Yes. My stories are of a different kind."

"I have been so consumed by thoughts of myself that I did not see."

"I did not want it to be too obvious, Brother. You have nothing to feel bad about."

"But still.... I have, according to our customs, sinned greviously in my lack of observance."

"And I say you have not, as I intentionally kept it from you."

"Does Jenna like our time together because I am her uncle, or because I can fill a need created by the death of her mother? Is that why she so readily ignored my transgressions? Because I can weave the worlds for her as her mother did?"

Thor sees the wheels turning in Loki's head and knows that his answer, as well as Jenna's future actions, will either help Loki continue to feel part of the family or will cause him to retreat away from it and that thought terrifies him, "I believe it is becaues she enjoys the time with you. You are inquisitive in the same way she is. A scientist like Jane. I do not deny that, to her, you are a bit of a curiosity. She has never met one so skilled with the magic arts. Her grandfather refuses to teach her, so she is left to read about them and to guess what they are like. We...Sif, the Three, and I, have told her so many stories that she likely sees you as a living legend. Reading to her, she saw you had the same spark Jane did; you become a person, just like her mother was. And thusly, family."

"You do not think she was saying 'blood or built' simply to convince herself that I am family after she learned what I have done?"

"I have talked to her about how much it hurt you to discover the secret of your adoption. She was asking questions, trying to better understand what she was told. She does not want to believe her grandfather's anger. So no, I do not. She only wants to see you as her kind uncle."

"And Odin has poisoned that."

"She and I have since talked extensively about who you have been at your best, rather than the short time you have been at your worst. Her grandfather's actions are those of a man who has not seen you for years and last remembered your darkest days. You ought remember that, too. Father never saw your actions on the throne."

"And yet he acts as though my nature is static. As though I have always been wicked and never will be anything but."

"He acts out of his own anger in the same way you once did-concerned only with the feeling and the moment with no thought for the future."

Loki stares at his plate and then drops his fork, a little exasperated that the revelation had not come earlier, "Damn it, Thor, you are right. I've learned from him, haven't I? This entire time, we have both simply been escalating this into a war of wills that cannot be won."

"As Jane would have said, 'when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object...' that is what you two are."

Loki laughs ruefully, "Oh, indeed." He retrieves his fork and continues with supper, "Aren't we a fine mess."

"Yes, yes we are. A gloriously fine mess."

"You with the father you cannot even tell of your wife...."

"And you with your horrible insecurities about your place in this world."

"And both of us trying to do our best for Jenna all the while."

"And do not forget, Brother, that she has to contend with a grandfather who is blinded by more than just his lack of an eye. Though he has expressed a wish to understand you."

"Well he is doing a terrible job trying."

"Very true. But I hope I am faring better than he."

This time, Loki's smile is a happy one, "By far. And while I wished I knew Jenna far sooner, I am so grateful you have allowed her time with me. She is light."

"He will figure out who her mother is eventually. It is no secret Jane was here, studying. We were married by Midgardian customs, though, not of this realm. He will likely consider Jenna an illigitimate child."

"You are king. You decide legitimacy."

"But it will change how he treats her."

"And I swore to protect her from harm. Even from him. If he dares lift a finger or say a snide word against her, if he dares hurt her in any way, I will make it clear to him that not only do I intend to uphold my promise at all costs, but that he is not exempt from it."

"You would face Odin in this way?"

"Yes."

"Yet you fear speaking to him about yourself."

"That is different. I cannot place how, but it is different."

Thor is grinning as he sips his wine and then shakes his head, "Loki, Loki, Loki...it is good to have you back. I have missed you."

"And I you, Thor. And I you."

They finish supper and walk slowly inside, both quiet, both content. There is still a long way to go, and Thor knows this, but Loki is at least trying to move forward only. He knows Jenna will help this process- she is someone else to carry on for. Someone he knows his brother will not risk losing.