A Bang and a Whimper

8

"I remember how much this setting enthralled you."

"It still brings a sense of awe. What is the occassion?"

"You are back in your quarters and, so far, have shown that you are healing in many ways. I am proud of you, Loki. I thought to make this first supper a little memorable."

As Thor uncovers steaming dishes, Loki lets his eyes wander, taking in the beauty of the gardens under the shimmering lights, "Is this still her enchantment?"

"Yes."

"How has it lasted this long? And how does it come and go? It was not here when I was in the garden as king."

"I do not understand how she made it return after her death, but I found that when I need this reminder, it is here. Jane loved it. She used to sing this song to Jenna here." He takes out a small black rectangle and pushes a few buttons on it. A song that seems to twinkle like the lights begins and the lights respond to it, their shimmer seeming to keep the music's time.

"Is this a children's song? It sounds as though it could be."

"No. Midgardian pop music. The band called themselves Owl City. The lyrics do not entirely make sense, but she thought it was sweet and the garden appears to like it as well. And the enchantment resembles lightning bugs."

Loki is lost in the entire experience- he eats small bites, distracted by the lights and sound, and Thor watches him, happy that he can elicit this reaction in his so long-distant brother. When the song ends, the lights continue flickering as though it were still playing. Loki finally looks to Thor and notices there is a glimmer to his eyes- tears. Thor brushes them away, knowing he is watching.

"It moves you deeply."

"Yes."

"Remembering Mother or remembering Jane?"

Thor stops his fork in mid air, surprised, "You called her 'Mother'."

"Amidst all this...how can I not?" He is feeling misty himself and his voice cracks a little. He sips his wine and pretends it did not happen. But it did. There is far too much on his mind to ignore that he misses her dearly, even after so many years. "And you still have not answered by question. Which is it that moves you?"

"If you are observant, you will discover your answer."

"You do not wish to talk about it."

"Possibly. Or perhaps there are things still difficult to put into words."

And that is when things click in Loki's mind. The black strand in Thor's braid. The chain around his neck he has glimpsed carrying a delicate gold ring. The music. Jenna's deep need to hear the stories her mother loved read aloud. The timeline. "Jane has not yet been gone a year." Thor's face gives his confirmation, "Oh.... I am so sorry. I have broken every bit of decorum we have for grief and mourning.". He sighs and rests an hand over his lips as if to stem his urge to apologise again.

"You did not know. Intentionally, I might add."

"But why? Why did you not tell me this so that I could allow for the proper distance?"

"I have had no one to speak of her with other than my daughter. I did not want the silence that our customs dictate. It is far too cold."

"But Jenna...there are things family is supposed to do to fill the needs of a father missing the child's mother. Has anyone done such things for you?"

"No. I have not let the few people who know take those roles."

"Who knows? Not Odin."

"Correct. Not Odin. But Sif and the Three know. They had to. They knew her. And they helped us in our seclusion."