bloodsucker | eren jaeger

missing persons

it was monday again, and i had a literature class to go to. i somehow managed to attend almost all of my classes last week; just wrapped in hoodies and sweatpants. eren was in none of them; i assumed today would be the same. i took a seat in my regular spot; scrolling through messages i hadn't opened from last week. there were a lot. mostly connie spamming me with random and strange photos.

at least until eren walked through the door. my mind immediately spiraled; putting my head back to where it was a week ago. everything i had just done felt futile. he didn't look at me but i could see his eyes were green and white again. it set me at ease for a moment before it was broken. he sat in a different seat.

that action somehow hurt more than anything. i picked at my cuticles; trying to drag them down as far as i could. if i could ignore his black eyes from the closet; all that was left was his rejection. it wasn't a comforting feeling, and at this moment i wanted to go back to questioning how the world was compromised. i couldn't rip my eyes away from him. eren was exactly like he was on the first day. i couldn't bear it.

before the lecture could even start, i made my way out of the class. was it too late to drop the class entirely? a 'w' on my transcript seemed like a good price to pay to never have to walk in there again. i hated myself for caring so much.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

eren's rejection couldn't keep me away. not for long, at least. if he was never going to talk to me again, i couldn't make it any worse, right? i knew that any wrong question could end badly. might cause him to run away; so i wouldn't ask any.

i pushed all the curiosity away as i stood outside of eren's apartment door. it felt eerie to be outside without him; just alone in the hallway. i hadn't knocked yet- i couldn't bring myself to. i drove the twenty five minutes here with ease, but now that i was so close; i felt out of place. while i was staring at it, the door cracked opened, "what are you doing here," came from eren's bored voice.

he looked.. exhausted. his eye bags had almost never looked more prevalent. his posture was hunched over slightly; light he could barely stand up. taking advantage of his weak state, i made my way closer to the door frame, pushing on his chest to force my way in. he was surprised, but didn't make a move against it.

i got straight to the point, "you drink blood because it's a kink." staring directly into his eyes; his face was astounded, but confused more than anything, "what?" he asked, not understanding quite where i was going. maybe jean hadn't even confronted him like this.

he didn't break my gaze, either. it almost made my legs buckle, but i stood my ground. "what i just said," my tone was harsh, "there's nothing strange or otherwise abnormal going on. just a kink." eren continued to stare at me. he opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided otherwise and closed it. he couldn't figure out what i was doing. having the upper hand gave me confidence.

i walked over to his kitchen counter, grabbing a knife from the butcher block. i looked to his eyes for confirmation. if i really was right; i didn't want to unleash something i knew nothing about.

i held the blade to my wrist; right along the blue vein visible on my skin. faltering, i looked back to him. what was i doing? he didn't disapprove; but he didn't encourage it either. eren just continued staring, but his features became even more tense as he realized what i was about to do.

i cut vertically without thinking about the consequences of it. the drag of the blade stung my skin before the blood started to pour. eren was at my side in an instant, pulling the knife back. "what the fuck y/n," he eyes were wide, as if he hadn't believed i would really do it. eren continued to look back and forth from my eyes to my bloody wrist.