A lot has happened in the last two months. There was a man whose appearance I remember well. August 31st was a new arrival. Each of these people loved me, gave me flowers, and dedicated a poem that he had written. I met him on the 4th of November, we went to the apartment, we were supposed to have sex, but it didn't happen. Why? It didn't, and you know what it did to me? I have to think about telling you I don't love you, and then not writing. No, I don't, but his disappearance still breaks my heart. When we left her, she was so disappointed, she accused me of leaking our chat and showing her fake boyfriend the screenshots. What I didn't realize at first was that I wouldn't have done something like this, it's impossible because in three years I would have done it. In some months, she gets to know people well enough to marry them. You know what I'm most curious about? I was sorry for what she had allegedly done to the same boy, and I had to talk to him in person. I can't take it anymore, I'm crying, but it's not enough. I want to scream and shout so that we can at least have sex, but I can't. I'm sorry for him, but to tell you the truth, there may be ways to forgive, but forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. In the future, I don't know what's going to happen, whether we're going to have a relationship or not, but I do know that I'm not going to forget it, and it's not going to be like it was before. And the third person I want to tell you about is the person who came in March, the person who really made me fall in love with myself. Not as a boy, not as a person. And I'm happy about that because it's a positive thing for me. Anything can cheer me up. Today, November 7th, I wrote the following: "I love you and thank you for being in my life ⁇ ❤️small not big even though I don't know what you look like in real life or I haven't seen you online I have your voice once I have a monastery still during this time you have occupied a very big place in my life and I think I'm not mistaken in you (at least I hope 😅) I know that after years we will have a relationship we will not have any joy and I will remember you with love ⁇ ". I know for a fact that for the rest of my life, I will be remembered fondly.
