"Yeah I know.. cause I do this shit." he said and I rolled my eyes then watched as he put the pan back on the stove.
"You can do me a favor mama?" he looked back at me and I raised my eyebrows. "Can you go in my room and scale up a seven. My cousin finna come pick that shit up." he said and I nodded my head.
"She my trap queen let her hit the bando." I sang while walking out the kitchen. "Girl you corny as hell." he laughed.
I chuckled then walked up the stairs towards his room. I looked at the paintings and wall decor as I walked down the hall till I finally made it to his room.
On the bed was the weed he was talking about. He had a candle warmer burning and Ytb Fatt was playing on his speakers. I sighed before sitting down and making the seven.
In my thoughts, all I could think about was how to tell him what I had to tell him. I didn't realize being around him in person would be this hard, but nigga was I wrong. I just wanted to take back what I said yesterday, but my mama was right I do need to choose me.
And plus I wanted to be honest with him. I always want to be honest with him.
As I was tying up the baggie I heard chatter come from downstairs. I slightly rolled my eyes because I didn't wanna meet no more family members right before him and I part ways.
I looked at myself in the mirror making sure I looked okay before heading downstairs. I held the baggie between my fingers fiddling with it, while looking down in my phone scrolling through my Instagram.
"Thea' she go." Duke said causing me to look up. I looked straight ahead and met eyes with his cousin. "Wassup, you look like you got what I want." he pointed at my hand and I slightly smiled.
"Hey." I tossed him the baggie then returned back to the barstool. "London this my cousin on my mama side, Deezy. Don't he look just like Tayja?" he said and I studied Deezy's face.
"Maybe it's the nose." I said and they both started laughing. "Everybody say that." they said in unison causing them to laugh again.
"Well aight cuzzo, hit me bout that work boy. It was nice meeting you London." he said and I nodded my head at him. "Nice to meet you." I said then got on my phone.
"Aight boy. Be easy outchea." Duke said then put both plates at the table. "Press the lock onna door fa me!" he shouted.
"Heard you!" he shouted back then the door shut and Duke put his focus on me. "Come on shorty." he said and I went to sit down at the table.
"Don't be scared of a nigga cooking neither." he joked then sat down and I chuckled. "I actually trust it." I said then took a sip of water.
"Oh I gotta tell you something, I almost forgot." he paused then took a bite of his pancake. I took a bite of mine as well.
"Hmm?" I questioned.
"My homeboy own these properties not too far from yo shit and I know fashitsho he got a building for lease... if you wanna take yo hair shit up there." he said and I bit on my bottom lip feeling every bit of guilty.
"Duke I appreciate the offer, but I- I can't." I said then looked down at my plate. "If it's the money, it ain't no problem." he looked me in my eyes.
"It's not that... Duke we need to take a break." I finally spat out and he laughed to himself then leaned back in his seat.
"Is my ears clogged in this bitch?" he asked me now rubbing his ear lobe. "What you in need of a break fa?" he asked me and I sighed.
"I just need some time to heal wounds I didn't know needed healing. It just wouldn't be fair to you if I let this continue when I know i'm not ready for a relationship." I said and he dropped his fork on his plate and leaned back in his seat.
"London, now what the fuck changed in the span of two days? I leave you be fa two days and you come back tellin me you not ready for a relationship." he said and I lightly sighed.
"And it bet not be cause of dat nigga." he pointed his finger at me with a smirk on his face.
"He actually texted me the same day we had sex." I admitted. "And he told me he was moving, which is apart of why I had a sudden change of heart—
"I can't even be mad dawg... I shoulda known better than to fuck with somebody still in love with they ex." He crossed his arms across his chest.
"Duke wait— I'm only telling you this because I want it to be complete honesty between us. I didn't realize it'd affect me as much as it did that he was moving, but it did so that's why i'm telling you. My mom and I had a heart to heart as well and she even thought it'd be best if I put myself first."
"You're a good man and I don't want to lose you, but i'd rather that than to hurt you. I want to be able to give my all into this relationship, but unfortunately that can't happen until—
"Until you heal. Yeah I get it and I respect it, but damn London. Because this nigga moving away it result in me getting cut outta yo life?" he asked me and I bit on my lip.
"What even went down dawg?" he asked me. "He asked me to come see him, so I decided to go see him for the last and final time. I had to part ways with him the same way I am with you. So don't think you're the only one, I really am doing this for me and our future..if we still have one." I said.
He wiped his mouth then shook his head. I couldn't even guess what was ever gonna come out of his mouth. "London I don't know how long you expect me to uh.. to wait for you." he finally said then cleared his throat.
"I don't know either." I mumbled.
It was a very long silence with a lot of tension in the air. I was so choked up in my words I couldn't even bring the fork near my mouth again.
"What haven't you healed from?" he finally asked me while looking me deep in my eyes.
"I haven't healed from my childhood yet. I feel like that's what keeps a tug on me in life. When I was young my dad used to beat my ass and verbally abuse me and it was something I never got the closure from because I haven't seen him in so long.."
"Plus Jerimiah played a big role in my childhood which is why some of these wounds of mine are opened. Every time something went down he was just always there, and now it's like.. he just keeps leaving." I said looking down.
"But that's over" I looked back up and saw Duke staring at me. "I get it." he mumbled.
"I wish we coulda had that figured out before you made me fall fa you so hard." he said and I felt a piece of my heart hurt.
"We'a work through this with time." he said then shook his head.
....
Later on that night, Duke did not attend his night out with the boys... and London did not attend her shift.
chapter 33
this was rushed af, but i promised y'all 🥲.
lemme get to writing the next b4 y'all cuss me out🚶🏽♀️.
Any thoughts tho?
| 33 |
Start from the beginning
