Wishing You Were a Ghost

Lover I Don't Have to Love

Denial comes in many forms, as it turns out.

Denying that the break-up is forever is one of them. Frank did that for a while until Emily reminded him that he couldn't, and everything came toppling down like ten-ton dominos.

Denying that he cares about it at all is another form.

He does this by throwing himself into work. The new job he gets about two months after he moves helps. He's selling guitars at a local shop. He gets an hourly rate on top of commission, and he's great at his job selling those guitars because he loves them. He knows a lot about them, and he's got passion for music as a whole. It keeps him busy and he's grateful for that, because he starts with what is probably way too many hours for someone who has just barely been there for a month, and he keeps on until he's forced to stop because he's accumulating overtime.

"Nobody's gonna tell you that you're not doing enough, kid," his boss says one Friday evening, grabbing him lightly by the shoulder and squeezing softly. "Take a break. Don't burn yourself out. You're good at what you do. I'd hate to see you crash too soon. We need good employees like you. Take the weekend off. Let off some steam, take some time for yourself."

It's great. It is absolutely fantastic to have a boss who cares about his well being and wants him to do what's necessary to be okay. A lot of people would kill to have a boss like that.

The problem is that Frank doesn't want to take time for himself. Being busy is the only thing keeping him sane, and after spending Friday night at home staring at the ceiling while playing with the infinity cube that Emily finally let him take home, he decides on Saturday that he has to do something. It's too easy to fall into the pit of Gerard when he's in his apartment.

Gerard's things may be gone, but he is still here. He's here in the LEGO sets that they built together, and the comics that he'd given to Frank for birthdays and holidays. The TV stand and all the other furniture that they'd chosen together.

Everything reminds Frank of Gerard when he's in his stupid apartment. That's why he hates being at his stupid fucking apartment.

And so he enlists Mikey's help. Which he shouldn't do, because Mikey is Gerard's brother, and it could very easily lead to another spiral, but to be fair, Frank knew Mikey first. That's how he'd met Gerard to start with.

"On a scale of one to tossing me into the middle of a busy intersection, how pissed would you be if I told you that I wanted to date your brother?" Frank asked, looking at Mikey carefully from where he sat on the couch.

All Mikey did was let out a long suffering sigh before biting mournfully into his pizza. "Get in fucking line, I guess," he said through his mouthful, rolling his eyes. "Everyone wants to fucking bang my brother-"

"I didn't say bang, I said date," Frank corrected him pointedly.

Snorting, Mikey tossed a spare olive at him. "So you don't wanna fuck him?"

"I mean, I didn't say I didn't," Frank admitted with a laugh, "But dating is more my speed, y'know? Hook-ups aren't really my thing as it is, and he's cool, and if I just fucked him and then bounced, I feel like it might fuck up our friendship a little."

"Oh, like it's not gonna fuck up our friendship if you date him and it ends in disaster?"

Mikey had no idea how right he was. But that's part of why Frank is making an effort. Things between them have been distant, and overall strained since the break-up.

So he calls Mikey and asks if he's free to go out, and when the other man agrees, Frank feels a little better. Both because he's not allowing the break-up to ruin his friendship, but also because it means he can get out of the apartment.