South park x reader!

Cartman- NSFW Alphabet

A-aftercare
Tbh guys it's cartman,he'll clean himself up and say "what ya waitin around for? I aint your mom"

B-body part
He's insecure Abt everything but he likes his confidence. He loves your stomach,he loves laying his head on it and kissing it

C-cum
Either on the sheets or on your stomach

D-Dirty secret
He secretly wants you to top him but will never show it.

E-experience
Nope,nothing,na da. Remember the episode where ike and his teacher are in love? Cartman says "stick it in her and pee" he doesn't know shit. Complete virgin

F-fav position
Either missionary or face-off

G-goofy
Of course,no serious stuff here

H-hair
Lots,refuses to shave because he thinks it's cut his balls off. You just have to deal with it

I-intimacy
Quite intimate. A bit romantic when friends are near but when they aren't? I'm talking dates to Casa bonita and rose scented candles all around the room when you come back

J-Jack off
All.the.time. When you aren't there when he's horny. He just jacks off. Pulling up a Polaroid picture of you that you guys took 3 weeks ago and thinks of you while he does it

K-kinks
List!
•agoraphilia (public sex)
•barebacking (sex without protection)
•begging
•bondage
•cock worship (likes his Dick praised)
•dirty talk
•face sitting (you sitting on his face)
•food play
Etc

L-Location
Anywhere really he'd even do it in class when the teacher and class is out of the room. Has to be quick tho

M-Motivation
You. You are his motivation

N-NO
Doesn't like hurting you or anythin weird to him

O-oral
Loves giving AND receiving. In top 7 for king of eating out

P-pace
Fast,sweaty and sensual

Q-quickies
Loves em,especially if risky. He finds excitement in it

R-risk
YES. Loves risks

S-stamina
He can go for 3 rounds, each 30 mins so pretty good for the Eric cartman

T-toys
He doesn't have anything. Just his hands. All he needs to pleasure him AND you. Would prefer you over his hand tho

U-unfair
Loves to tease and see your face when he stops pleasuring you on purpose

W-Wildcard
Your relationship was under wraps and closeted for a month due to your friends (Wendy,Bebe,etc/Henrietta,Bloodrayne,etc)
Saying things like "ew its cartman" or "ugh fatty" and his friends would say "damn u have her number? Can I get it" or "why is she dating you when she could have a hotty like me"
He got insecure so you both cuddled and got through it. From then on,you both don't care who hates it. They'll have to deal with it

X-xray
It grows slowly,its 4 inches and quite some girth

Y-yearning
8/10 hes kind of horny NEARLY 5 times every week

Z-zzz
He sleeps quite fast but you both spoon while sleeping. (You're little spoon)