Hᴏᴡ Mʏ Hᴇᴀʀᴛ Bʀᴇᴀᴋs

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Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 37

"Mutter?" He called. Silence replied. The screaming was over.

His mother stood from the sofa, having smoothed down her skirt and buttoned her blouse back the way it should be. The man she was with shot up, desperately fixing his boxers around his waist. "Warum bist du hier? Du solltest im Bett sein, du bist nicht in der Verfassung aufzustehen!" His mother exclaimed. Embracing him at his waist.

He could feel her long red nails against his back. His body shivered, his head numb from his cold, his nose tight, his eyes sizzling. Her body was warm, her heart was pounding. She smelled strange as she directed him out the living room door.

He coughed again. Phlegm filled his mouth. His mother ran her hands down his waist. "Oh je, du solltest sofort wieder ins Bett gehen, ich möchte, dass es dir bald besser geht, bevor dein Vater nach Hause kommt, ja?"

He nodded. His mother smiled.

"Wer war das?" He croaked, glancing up at her white gleaming eyes. "Mach dir keine Sorgen, es war niemand. She assured him with a smile. Her cherry-red lips pulled upwards.

He coughed again, his mother drew him closer.

"Aber erzähl deinem Vater doch nichts davon? Er hat genug Grund zur Sorge. Am besten wüsste er es nicht."

He nodded again. His throat drying more.

"Du willst nicht, dass er schreit, oder? Weißt du, manchmal wird er wütend, ich würde es hassen, wenn er dich anschreien würde, du hast nichts getan." She smiled, drawing her hand to the dip of his pelvis. He could feel her red nails pushing tight against his body.

His body went limp in her embrace. His spine wracked with warm spasms, his mind blind.

"Wenn du in meinem Alter bist und eine Frau triffst, musst du sicherstellen, dass sie zu dir passt," His mother chirped aimlessly, redirecting the conversation as if it meant something more than the last. Gently, she allowed him to rest against her as they walked joyously. "Das erkennt man am besten, wenn sie ihren Gefühlen freien Lauf lässt. Wenn sie jemals ihre Stimme erhebt,"

"Erinnere sie an Unterwürfigkeit."

It came through his mind. Inching. Three words, four, twelve, seventy. Entire paragraphs, entire images— sentences that dragged on in his thoughts. Seconds crawled by, then he let go.

He couldn't feel his mother's red nails, he couldn't see her excessive lipstick. He couldn't hear the lace of honey dripping through her tone as she consoled him. His cold cured in a moment's clearance.

The Empire stared at you instead.

Your horrified expression, eyes fraught and growing wider and wider. Body slackened, knowing there was no running from him now. There was no running from your mistake.

German Empire cleared his throat.

"Now now, vat's vith zis yelling? Vu're letting your vomanly emozions get zee better of vu, schouldn't vu know better?"

You faltered, for a moment you seemed disgusted, perhaps his words were distasteful for your ear. But you found sense over conviction, your expression wasted, your face fell. "I didn't mean to—" You hardly spoke before you stopped briefly. Your eyes met the floor, your throat choked.

German Empire hadn't heard much of what it was you were screaming about, really he didn't care all that much. He quite liked that you had the mind to keep his troubled son in place. But that wasn't the core of why he was so insouciant by your outburst.

The Empire stood straighter, his father behind him turned away, eyes meeting the window. The grey emptiness of a wasted dusk met the light in a gleaming sorrow. The world beyond was just as still as the room standing. No one, not even the Gods were satisfied, comfortable, blithe.

"Keep your voice level, Schatz, vu're making our guest uncomfortable." You seemed to understand as you turned to catch a glance at Soviet. His eyes were to the ground, his hands pressing hardly against a distraught Salem. His shirt being battered by her lashing tail.

She seemed more bothered than he. Yet you questioned nothing in between, so you turned back. Prussia stared. He knew what came next. Perhaps he was staring to assure you had something solid to look upon once you heard the soul-dropping words of the Empire. Or perhaps he was expecting a reaction.

Either way, your eyes were stolen by the Empire before he spoke again. "I'd like to zee vu in mein office once vu've finisched vatever it is vu are doing. Do not leave me vaiting, hovever. I need to speak vith vu."

Your chest expanded, your breath caught between itself and your ribs. Your eyes stared at nothing, realisation sunk between the follicles on your arms and the colours in your eyes.

You met the eyes of Prussia once more, then both men turned to leave.

You were left standing there, head to the ground, eyes aimlessly wide, silence screaming between everything you could feel,

And that was nothing at all.

"Pleaze," the gently innocent voice of Reich muttered through the silence. You said nothing, you moved nought, Reich's voice fell further to despair. "(𝚈/𝙽), I'm begging vu pleaze stay."

What little action may supplant hesitation? How inaction deserts logic for a supplement of something larger than itself. The longer you had your back turned, the more Reich fell into despair.

Your eyes narrowed, the bridge of your nose creased.

"Do me ein favour und keep ein eye on him, if he zays zomezing schtrange could vu just go along vith it?"

Your heart turned before your body, you met the boy's gaze solemnly. Half your body still faced away, but your eyes never left his for a second.

"He has nozing really, he's lost ein lot for zomeone his age."

"If one more thing happens to me while we're doing this, I'm leaving, alright?"

Reich's despair fell through. His body shot up, a glimmer lay in his eyes, his sharp teeth gleamed as he drew them wider and wider. "Danke, Danke!" He exclaimed, nearly bouncing on the spot. His hat slipped gently over his eyes and he pulled it up with a smile.

You sat back down, still ashamed. Yet unable to find the words to apologise.

Soviet looked back up, Salem was relaxed.

"What now zen?" The Russian asked cautiously as if he was dealing with a sparked fuse. You glance to Reich, whose smile hadn't yet fallen through. "Tomorrow morning ve can go to zee train tracks, it's zee clozest."

Soviet seemed satisfied, he leaned back in his seat again, comfort having been found. The air wasn't as thick. The grey light of beating limbo had unfurled a life within itself, it was no longer dull, hue was alive.

You drew a breath in, then out. You had a few more moments to be at ease. Time was depleting vastly, you really didn't want to speak with the Empire. But the choice wasn't yours.

Your eyes met your cold tea. Its surface rippled, the light caught it gently.

The ending began just as the beginning ended.

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