CHAINED UP

Chapter 8 | Blame Me

"I want all of you..."

Nothing clear in my head helping me to realize what just happened, I stare at him. I am speechless and so out of breath without even moving. "I want you all for myself..." he crushes my body with his and hides his face in my neck to kiss his way down its length and shivers it with his warm breath. "I wanna know what it feels like to be inside you...I know it must feel good..."

"Rafael..." I touch his shoulder to attempt to calm him down, some nervousness grasping my lungs, but he pushes forward and kisses my neck with his tongue, before facing me again. "I'll take care of you. If it hurts, I'll stop or slow down, I promise..." he worsens the panic I am in. I have never felt that way before. "Hm...?" he locks lips with mine and takes me aback for the second time.

My inside burning up, my heart suddenly pounding, and my body shaking, I cannot stop him. I am so shocked by this action that I do not know how to react other than by doing the same, but as soon as I part my lips to kiss him back, he forces his tongue inside my mouth, and I clench my thighs.

Even when drunk, he is so good at kissing, but I need to stop him. This is too late now that he took my first kiss, but it does not matter anymore, this is not his fault.

"No..." I push him away as kindly as I can, but he groans to make it evident he did not agree. "Please..." he whispers against my lips. "Don't you wanna have your first time with me?" he glides his hand up to my throat once again. "I promise I'll be gentle..."

"No, Rafael. You're drunk," I refuse, wishing he was conscious of his actions. "I've drunk? Yeah, but just a little."

"Stop," I ask him. "I'm not comfortable."

He does not insist but stares deep into my eyes. "I make you uncomfortable?"

"I'm just not liking this. You're drunk, so I'm uncomfortable right now...yeah," I hate to say those words but feel obligated, and he remains silent for a moment, making me feel like I should not have worded my emotions that way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he takes his hand off of my skin, his eyes turning shiny. "You're not gonna hate me, right? I promise I'll make it up...I didn't know."

"It's okay, don't worry. I don't hate you," I reassure him, noticing this is affecting him way too severely because of the state he is in. "You're sure? You're not lying to me?"

"I'm not lying to you, Rafael," my heart sinks at the sight of his unusual reaction. That is as if his sensitive and fearful side was out whenever he gets drunk, a side which he hides on a daily basis. He holds me tight and tucks his head in the crook of my neck. "I don't ever want you to leave me...it scares me..."

"I won't leave," I put my arms around his neck, knowing he needs some comfort, some care, and love, and he stays like this, breathing against my skin.

- Next Day -

Saturday, May 22nd, 2021.

12:30 pm.

I take a part of the meal out of the oven and place it on the counter as fast as I can to not burn myself, the sound of Rafael leaving his bedroom catching most of my attention. I turn around to grab his dish and serve him a good amount of food, and I bring it to the table where I left a glass of water and a pill he will probably need.

"You were here last night, weren't you?" he approaches me, wearing a black shirt, and a pair of sweatpants. "Look what I cooked," I avoid his question and direct the attention to his dish, but he does not care much about it. He briefly glances at it and stares at me.