Part 017

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That day, the air was like hot steam. Even in the lightest clothes I could dig out of the closet, sweat pooled in every crevice of my body. The knowledge of it being only eight in the morning was even more discouraging. But still, we slugged our way to the tunnel, little said between our overheated brains. By the time the cool breeze of the place met our skin, I couldn't deny how sweet Draco's stupid idea of a nap on concrete sounded.

Sweating through our shirts, we sat at the spots which have become our regular. Although, the distance that separated us never stopped feeling a little awkward. It didn't take long for me to prefer the awkwardness of separation to proximity. I'm not sure how Draco felt, but he never once initiated change about us from that day's morning, not even in the smallest of things. It seemed like he especially took care not to. I didn't mind it. Change was, and still is, scary.

The first words spoken at the tunnel that day was Draco's "You okay?"

I got used to this line of his. "I guess," I said.

"Should we talk or just begin?" he said.

"What would we talk about?"

"Whatever you want."

I considered it. "Just begin," I said.

And so it began.

That day, Draco held two wands. One was his own and the other was a 'training wand'—his words. He explained things, or at least I think he did. Not much listening was done at that moment. All I can recall from those few minutes is staring at the wand which I owned, which I could use. Many voices spoke to me. One whispered that it was only a fancy stick. Another buzzed about unlocking doors and levitating plates like Draco did. A few gushed in fascination. Most regretted in fear and disgust. I thought those voices would fade and die, but they didn't. I heard them for the next week, all the way to now.

"We'll start with some basic charms," Draco said, handing me my wand.

It isn't like I've never touched a magical device before, but I was still anxious. One of the many voices I heard was Vernon. His whispers were in every curve of my brain like an infection. Wizards and their magic—out of control, they are... But when my skin met the varnished wood of the wand, the world fell silent. I felt like standing in a vacuum, somewhere safe and personal. I felt light, powerful, and fearless.

I think that showed through my face. "Does it feel like this is what you were always meant to be?" Draco said, his lips perked up softly.

"Is that what I'm supposed to feel?" I said.

He shrugged. "That's how I felt when I got this job. I thought it may be similar." It didn't make sense then, it doesn't make sense now.

As the days passed, we sure did start with basic charms. But it's rather the start is very long, or Draco lied, because a week later, I'm still doing what is considered basic according to my teacher.

"I'm starting to think you may not be a very good one," I said one particularly boring day.

Draco only smiled, spinning his wand smoothly between his fingers.

There was one thing that did make him out to be a great teacher, though, and that was keeping to the rules, or at least asserting them.

"But before we start anything," he added after putting my wand in my hand for the first time, "the Ministry has some regulations."

"For you, I assume," I said.

"For both of us, actually. And for any person who uses magic in muggle-lived locations."

I blinked. "The what-lived areas?"

"Muggle-lived," he explained. "Non-magical people are called muggles. We separate them because we hide from them. Magic is not to be seen by muggles, hence the regulations. And don't ask why we hide—that's something we need to talk about, which you did not want."

"...Okay, sure," I said. "Regulations?"

Draco nodded. "All you need to care about is the part that restricts use of magic to under Disillusionment Charms only."

"You are gonna have to start talking better, because I can't keep doing this," I said. "Under what?"

Instead of answering me, he demonstrated what a Disillusionment Charm was. In short, playing before my eyes was something eery and disturbing, yet so beautiful and fantastical.

From the tip of his wand sprouted thread-like smoke of silver, flowing and swirling through the air delicately. As Draco moved out the back of the tunnel, into the tall weeds, the threads weaved together to form flat sheets. They clung to each other, growing larger until a translucent dome covered the sky above our heads. When Draco put down his wand, everything fell into place and became nearly invisible, the raging sun shining down on us with nothing in its way. I can clearly remember gawking at the sight before me, wondering if I was having sunstroke and hallucinating. The faint waves of pearlescent shimmer on the surface of the dome are forever engraved in my memory.

The Disillusionment Charms still stand where they were first cast in all of its magnificence.

"This will hide the magic on the inside from the outside," Draco said, stepping back into the tunnel's shade. "This will protect us."

"And if magic is used anywhere else?" I said.

"Technically, you'd stand court," he said.

"What about all the times you used magic in the house?"

He waved it off. "Just don't report me."

The first charm Draco taught me was the Levitation Charm. According to him, it is the first charm any young magic user would learn. He said I was doing far better than most young magic users, though, when I lifted a leaf off the ground on the first day. He said that a few more times after that and it stupidly made me proud, especially when I was overly frustrated over the same charm half an hour ago.

I dropped my wand, my hands raised in defeat. "Nope. Nope, nope, nope," I said, retreating to my comfort spot in the tunnel. "I'm done. I'm done."

Draco stood in front of me, picking my wand off the dirt on his way. "You need to work on your patience," he said, annoyingly towering over me. He held my wand out towards me, waiting.

I eyed him. "I don't need to work on anything."

"Okay, get your ass up. You got this." His grip on my wrists, he plucked me off the ground with surprisingly little effort. He then forced my wand back into my hand against my refusal.

"You're a very tacky teacher," I said.

"You're a very stubborn student," he said, positioning himself behind me.

I froze as he placed his hand over mine, both of us holding my wand. His warmth was all over me and I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding. He said things by my ear and moved my wand-held hand in his. Seeing as I don't quite recall how the charm of that day is performed, I think I was distracted.

"Give it a go, just like that," he said, giving me breathing room.

"Very tacky," I murmured.

Days went by like that. A handful of charms were under my belt, a week of breakfasts and lunches were shared, and sometimes I felt fuzzy things in my stomach I've never felt before. It was boring and thrilling, terrifying and blissful, complicated and fulfilling.

And today—today was also all those things. I wish it could be only those things, but...

Reality catches up. Quick.

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