Shadows Of The Maknae

Chapter 6: A Seat at the Table

I took a seat next to Jungkook, Jungkook thankfully took the seat in between where Yoongi was sitting so I didn't have to sit next to him, thank god. I tried be polite as I nodded to the other members and offering a smile. Once Jin was finally done making dinner, he started to plate up the food and asked Jungkook for help. It was kind of awkward as I just looked down and twiddled with my thumbs, not really sure how to engage in conversation.

Jin finally sat down after everyone else was served. It was mostly quiet as the rest of the members began to scarf down their food. So I decided as a queue, that it was a time to start eating. It was delicious. The homemade Jjanjanmyeon was absolutely to die for. Jin's food was really just as delicious as it was in the videos I watched of them during Bon Voyage and In the Soop videos. I wish I could have his food every day for the rest of my life.

Throughout the dinner, things started to lighten up a little bit with my presence. I join in a conversation a time or two once they started talking about music besides all the mafia stuff that I didn't have any part of and also didn't completely understand. Eventually, the topic of family came up. Some of the members looked genuinely curious about my upbringing.

"Y/N, tell us more about your family. What was it like growing up?" Jimin asks, trying to involve me into the conversation. I decided I needed to be honest with them if I was going to be here for awhile.

"Well actually... I grew up in a foster home, moving from one place to another. I didn't have a traditional family but I did stay close with my blood cousin, Lilly. She and I are really close and we were supposed to live together in her apartment in Seoul." Curiosity got the best of me as I turned the question back to them. I kind of new about their families, but I wanted to hear it from the source, not from media website or fan update account.

"Well I have a younger brother. We've always been very close and he's been a great source of support." Jin said warmly with a smile.

"I also have a sister who I am very close with. She knows about all of this stuff but I try not to be in that much contact to keep her protected." Hoseok said with a sigh. I gave him a sympathetic smile. Though whenever the topic reached over to Jungkook and Yoongi however, their expressions darkened visibly. Once I looked their way, I could visible feel new tension that formed in the room.

"I'd rather not talk about my family. Somethings are better left unasked." He gritted out.

He then shot up from his seat, slamming his chair into the floor before rushing upstairs. His sudden outburst startled me. The members seemed to be used to these kind of outbursts, but I wasn't. It was definitely a side of Jungkook I have yet to see and I felt guilty I brought it upon him. Even though it was accidental, I didn't know this would happen.

When I looked over at Yoongi, sat in silence. He moved his fork around, barely touching the rest of his food. The dinner continued on in hushed tones from the other members, but I stayed quiet, slowly eating the rest.

Once dinner ended, Jin asked for help with the dishes and I volunteered. The other members have already gone into other rooms to do who knows what and some back to their own bedrooms. Jin, thankfully, was easy to talk too as we worked together to clean up the table and wash the dishes. While Jin was drying a plate and I continued to wash another, he then started to speak.

"Y/N... I think it's best you go check up on Jungkook. He seemed really upset during dinner. I know family is a rough topic for him but he should be able to talk about it freely. Though some of us may not have family anymore, those who talk about it seem to relief themselves of their past pain by talking about it." Jin was always smart. He had his way with words, especially being the oldest out of all of us. He was gentle and wanted to show that he really cared for Jungkook.

"I agree Jin. I'll go see how he is doing."

I finished washing up the last dish before making my way upstairs towards Jungkook's room. Just as I was about to do so, I bumped into Yoongi by accident as he was also making his way towards his own room. His expression was serious and his gaze bore into mine with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine.

"Y/N. I suggest you stop asking questions about our families or about everything else in general. It's for your own good." His tone was cold, avoiding any sense of warmth. The words he spoke were almost in a threatening way. I was taken aback by his harshness and sudden hostility as this was one of the first times we were ever face to face alone. I tried to defend myself in front of him but even doing so was hard to do.

"I... I didn't mean to pry. I just wanted to know you guys a bit better is all..." I stammered, my voice not wanting to come out as confident as it should've been. He just rolled his eyes and without saying another word, he walked to the room next to Jungkook's on the other side, slamming the door behind him. Now I know which room to totally avoid...

I finally was able to stand outside of Jungkook's room without bumping into any of the other members. My heart was pounding as I was about to approach the mafia leader by myself. I took a deep breath before knocking on Jungkook's door. There was only silence for a few moments, making me wonder if he would acknowledge me.

I was just about to knock again when the door opened slightly, making his head pop out. He would've looked cute in a way if he didn't have a miserable look on his face like he wanted to kill me.

"Jungkook, I... I just wanted to talk to you." I started, my voice wavering slightly. "I didn't mean any harm or to upset anyone at dinner. I just wanted to get to know you guys better is all. I know now I crossed a line and made you uncomfortable so I just wanted to apologize."

I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He simply stared at me with a distant look in his eyes. I tried to clear my throat, a lump forming as I tried to find the right words.

"Jungkook... please say something."

"Y/N, it's not just about asking questions." His tone was low and filled with some anger still, but mostly frustration.

"There are things some of us don't talk about... and for a good reason. It's better if you don't ask and pry into our lives for the better." I sighed, looking down at my feet.

"I'm sorry. I understand. I'll try not to ask about those things again."

"Good. Just be mindful next time." Without another word, he closed the door in my face.

I sighed, knowing there wasn't much else I could do. I stood outside my door, tears threatening to come down my face. With a shaky breath, I try to compose my self and open my door.

But before I could turn the doorknob, I heard a soft creaking sound coming from down the hallway. I turned to see Jimin was slowly opening his door as he poked his head out, his eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah Jimin, I'm fine..." I trailed off, not really sure to myself if I was really fine. Jimin could usually see right through me as we have grown closer together. He then fully stepped out of his room with his arms opened wide. With a nod, I quickly, with large steps, made my way over to him on the other end of the hall. I needed this more than ever.

"Come on, you don't have to be alone tonight. You can stay in my room in you want." He wrapped his arms in a comforting hug.

A few moments after, he led me into his room. He closed the door behind us and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by his deep kindness and empathy. For the rest of the night, Jimin offered his room for me, which I gratefully took up on. I snuggled into bed on the right side as Jimin was on the far left side. There was a gap between us but I still felt comforted by him being close by. I soon fell into a deep sleep, hoping nothing else crazy would go on for the rest of the night.