My newfound home (discontinued)

We're here for you

!!TW!! - mentions of ed, nightmares

RILEY'S POV

My eyes shoot open and I sit up in my bed. My body is all sweaty and hot. Another fucking nightmare. My sleeping pills don't seem to be helping me anymore, I normally take 2 at night and then help me sleep throughout the night without any nightmares but recently they've been coming back worse than ever.

They're always about my mum. Sometimes it starts off nice with me, my dad and sister but then it just turns horrible and It always ends up with me walking into my sister's bedroom to find her lifeless body laying on the floor like I found it years ago. After that it's just my mum abusing me, I don't ever want to relive that experience.

I look over and see Leah sleeping peacefully. I wish. I lay back down in bed and roll over to the side hoping to get some more sleep so I have energy for training in the morning. I roll around side to side and kick my legs but can't seem to get comfortable and get back to sleep. I let out a huff accepting the fact that I won't be falling back to sleep after that stupid nightmare.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and walk over to the wardrobe on the opposite side of the room, careful not to wake up Leah. I'm extremely good at walking around quietly, that's just what happens when you grow up in an abusive household. I grab my England shorts and training shirt and walk towards the bathroom.

I got changed into my clothes and quietly walked back over to the wardrobe grabbing my England jacket and my boots making my way to the door. Before I left I saw Leah's phone on the table and walked over to check the time. The bright screen lit up and it read 5:21 am, breakfast isn't until 7.

I open the door gently, closing it behind me and looking around the corridors. Everyone's door is shut, signalling that no one is awake yet. I quietly tip-toe my way through the corridors and down the stairs making my way out onto the same 3G pitch from yesterday.

I slip my boots on and find a hole in the side of them that is slowly growing bigger every time I wear them. I don't think these boots will last till the end of camp. I grabbed the ball from where I left it yesterday and did a bit of juggling to warm up. It was freezing as it was only 5:30 in the morning. After getting frustrated at myself as I kept dropping the ball I moved onto some dribbling and ball control.

I set my trainers down and use them as cones dribbling in and out of them. I practise some of my skills as well as learn some new ones. I did a few more drills practising them until they were perfect. I didn't know what the time was as I didn't have a phone but I decided to do some shots on goal before heading back in so nobody panics about where I am, like yesterday.

I practise shots from the penalty spot, outside the box on both sides, long shots and more making sure I got some in the top corners and the bottom corners. I also worked on dribbling around my trainers before shooting. At this point I had lost track of time. I felt so happy and free of everything while playing football. It's nothing else that mattered in the world; it was the only time where my thoughts were quiet.

I dribbled from halfway dribbling around one shoe going to the other before faking going one way and then pushing the ball to the other; then, I shot from just outside the left-hand side of the box the ball looked like it was going wide off the goal, but last second it curves in and smashes into the top right corner of the goal.

I heard clapping from behind me and I turned around to see the whole team sitting down on the benches watching me. I froze. How long had they been there for?

"How long have you guys been there?" I mumbled, staring down at the hole in my boot which had now doubled in size.

"We've been here for a while, Riles, since you started your shooting drills. How long have you been out here?" Esme spoke up. They've been watching me for that long?! How did I not notice that they were there?