I Shouldn't Even Know

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The thoughts of the debt weighed heavy on my mind as I folded the dried clothes on the little table next to the machines. I had been doing chores all day since I got home, trying to think of ways to make some money. When I wasn't doing a job for Toro, I'd pick up shifts here and there, but nothing consistent or well-paying.

The money I got from each job was more than enough for everything I paid; half the bills, all the food and groceries, and my aunt's medical bills and treatments. It'd last a few months if I budgeted right. The other half of the rent and other bills was paid partially by my aunt's disability and partially by whatever money my siblings gave. My aunt Selena and her two kids moved in with us when her MS started getting worse. I was in high school at the time, and dropped out one month before my sophomore year was over. There were so many reasons, but the biggest one was because I knew I was going to have to be the head of the household. My mother was always strung out or out getting drunk, and if she was somehow sober, she was insanely abusive. I was the oldest of five, and my cousins were also younger.

It was a lot of work trying to keep everyone in order and not lose my own sanity in the process, but the murder was a pretty good stress reliever. Without that, I'd have to take shifts at shitty diners and fast food places. That was the case tonight, and I knew I'd come home with less than fifty dollars in tips. My shift started at 5 pm, and I wasn't exactly paying attention to the time, too engrossed in trying to think up a plan. Before I knew it, my youngest brother, Joshua, was bounding down the stairs to where I was, his backpack hanging off one shoulder. "Can you help me, please?"

"Seriously? With what?" I asked, shocked that it was already half past three.

"Math..."

"God dammit, Josh. Sit over there."

He complied and took out his homework, boring me to death and frustrating me to no end. But unless I wanted him to end up like me (or worse), I needed to help the kid out.

"So what does 'distribute' mean? Do you know?" I asked, after fifteen minutes had already passed and he still wasn't getting it.

"To multiply?" Josh said, causing me to sigh.

"No," I said, putting my laundry folding on pause to walk over to where he sat on the old stool-seat in the corner. I took the pencil from his hand to demonstrate. "This number. Distribute it, like, give it to the other numbers in here. Then you multiply it to those numbers."

"Oh."

"Oh," I mocked, giving him the pencil and going back to the clothes. The second I did, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Shi, help me out," my sister Nina called as she stomped down the last few steps. She was only halfway through her pregnancy, yet she acted as if she was carrying a two year old in there.

"What now?" I whined, glancing in her direction and refusing to once again stop my momentum for her stupid problems.

She came up next to me and tried to look through the already folded clothes before I slapped her hand away. "Ow. I need your help to decide on a name."

"Seriously? You're not even- you know what? Let me hear 'em."

"Okay, okay, so I'm really only thinking of girl names right now, you know? So I have two picked out and I can't decide for the life of me. Tell me which you like better, okay?"

"I know how it works."

"Okay, so, the first name I was thinking of is Chloe. I really-"

"Please don't do that to your child. What's the other one?" I asked, disgusted.

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