Ink and Parchment ~ blood and bone

8

When the entire class had ushered in Lockhart finally arrived standing at the front staring out at the class, the portraits of himself hung around the room wearing the same exact expression.

It was creepy.

"Me" he said gesturing to the portraits "Gilderoy Lockhart, order of merlin, third class and five times winner of witch weekly's most charming smile award – but I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her"

If he was expecting people to laugh he was sorely disappointed.

"I thought we'd start today with a little quiz, to see how well you've read the books" he exclaimed cheerfully not deterred by their lack of enthusiasm and handed out the test papers.

"You have thirty minutes, and start!"

Giving into morbid curiosity Eliza read the test.

What is the Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

What in your opinion is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, all the way to what his ideal birthday gift would be. Theo had slumped over the desk, probably asleep and to her left Blaise had started reading her copies of Lockhart's books and let out quiet sniggers every few moments. Sighing Eliza picked up her quill and began answering the questions

Your favourite colour is pink; it's not just for witches!

If your ambition is in your books it's not that much of a secret is it? Trick question

Greatest achievement? I'd like to say actually getting the defence position at Hogwarts but considering how very low that bar is set...

Half an hour later Lockhart collected in the test papers and flicked through them looking oddly nervous as he read through some of them. She had no doubt that any Slytherin were particular kind in their answers. As Lockhart moved on from the tests she nudged Theo awake when Lockhart plonked a large cage on his desk.

"I must ask you not to scream" said Lockhart in a low voice "it might provoke them"

Despite herself Eliza looked up in interest as Lockhart whipped off the cover.

"Yes, Freshly caught Cornish pixies!" he said dramatically. A Gryffindor at the front of the class snorted incredulously. Eliza was disappointed herself, her standards were so very low and he still failed to meet them. Evidently this was not the reaction Lockhart was looking for as he then decided to actually release the pixies and let them run amok in the classroom.

It was pandemonium. The classroom descended into chaos as the pixies rampaged through the room and left destruction in their wake. Lockhart stood in the middle of the room and brandished his wand bellowing

"peskipiksi pesternomi"

It did nothing.

Not surprising considering it wasn't a real spell.

The bell rang and everyone ran out of the room including Lockhart who paused at the door turning to look at Eliza

"Well I'll just ask you four to pop them back in the cage shall I?" he said, sweeping pass them and swinging the door shut. Eliza sighed and pulled out her wand aiming a quick imobulus at a pixie that was trying to steal her ink pot.

"Anyone up for some target practice?" she asked quirking her lip into a small smile.

Her court grinned and they spent the rest of break firing different spells at the pixies seeing who could hit the most as they dumped them back into their cage.