Infestissumam: Ghost B.C. Book

Story Of My Life: Papa IV

The last show was over. So was him. He didn't know how to feel. An empty sensation filled him. Everyone could see it. It wasn't hard to realise how empty he felt. His walk, his movements, his face, his eyes. It all gave it out. He was loosing himself. It felt as if a dark figure was standing before him, ready to take his hand. Ready to take him away. But, no, he wasn't ready yet. He would never be. When he first became Papa, they promised great things. They told him he would built a whole empire out of ashes, yet that empire was being destroyed in front of his eyes within seconds. An empire he had gave his best years to build. He couldn't possibly give everything up like this. It was the end, but it felt as if he was still in the starting point.

"Great show, wasn't it, Papa?"

A voice interrupted his thoughts as he got backstage. It was Sodo. His best ghoul. He was the one that had been in the band the longest. His eyes seemed full of concern as he looked at Copia. His small form seemed huge to Emeritus. He couldn't even tell the lines between real and the fake. The other ghouls could tell, too. He had been acting very off for a month now. They all knew that the end was near. But they tried to cover it all up with laughter and have a good time for as long as they would be there.

"Yes, indeed it was."

He simply replied as he looked down, avoiding the ghoul's gaze. His thoughts were drowning him. He felt like his words meant nothing anymore. He didn't even believe what he said. He knew it wouldn't change anything whether he said the truth or not. It's been way too long that nothing made him fill full. Nothing was actually 'great' anymore. Not even the coffee showed a future for him anymore. He had completely abandoned all his hopes.

"Papa, we know it is hard for you to accept that this is the end, but don't think about it like that! Think about the fact that so many people loved you and idolised you for so many years. You were the reason they were smiling tonight. I think that this is enough to make you feel better. Don't just think of the end. Think about how much fun we had."

Aurora, the youngest and newest ghoulette in the band told him. She was always so sweet and supporting. She always looked at the bright side of the things. She viewed the cup halfway filled and not halfway empty. Emeritus couldn't say that she was wrong. They have had great times together. The best memories he could being to his mind. He smiled at her lovingly and placed his hand on her head, patting softly betweeb her little horns.

"Aw, Aurora, my darling. You always manage to make me smile."

He said with a small chuckle, making the ghoulette smile. She went in for a hug and Copia hugged her back, kissing her forehead. She was like a daughter to him. All the ghouls were. He smiled down at her. She was right. He should be remembering the good times. But the fear of not waking up tomorrow was always there, in the back of his head. And that little voice, singing:

'don't you forget about dying,

don't you forget about your friend death,

don't you forget that you will die.'

Shivers run down his spine as the ghoulette let go off him and walked towards the others to help clean up the stage. Papa turned his head to the side were Swiss and Sodo were standing, smoking. He smiled at them as he saw them turning their heads towards him. He would miss them. Them and their ridiculous arguments over nothing. The way Sodo teased Swiss about the little crush he seemed to have on Aurora, but also the way Swiss payed him back by teasing him sexually on stage. They always were like brothers. And Copia couldn't help and feel like a proud father watching them and their achievements. They have made it so far.

He turned his back to them. All the golden memories in his head were turning silver the more he thought of them. The fact that everything was temporary killed him inside. He wanted it to last longer. He wanted himself to last longer. He walked slowly, like he had nothing more to loose. He didn't. Time meant nothing to him. Whether he got in his changing room in ten minutes or ten years, it would be the same. He pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, walked in, and locked it behind him before leaning his back to the door.