Substitute Child (Ross Lynch)

Chapter 11

The moment we made our way downstairs, all eyes were on us; Mainly me. Not caring if I was being rude, I put my head down and walked out of the house, fighting the urge to scream and run. I wanted to run and find my baby, find the son of a bitch who took her. I wanted to find Ben and put a gun to his head, pull the trigger and watch his lifeless body fall to the ground, blood pooling out of his wound. 

I could kill him and not feel an ounce of guilt. 

After a silent ride home that felt like it took hours, we arrived at the apartment. My legs felt heavy as I climbed up the stairs, and if it weren't for Ross' hand on my waist, I probably would have collapsed. 

The moment we entered the apartment, I couldn't help but burst into tears as I caught sight of Olivia's empty room. Ross' arms were around me instantly, and he didn't remove them as we walked into her room. He sat down on the rocking chair, placing me on his lap as I buried my face in his chest. I still held onto the bunny, squeezing the life out of it, as if it would bring me back my baby. 

"This is all my fault. It's my fault she's gone." I sobbed, my words barely coherent. 

I could feel Ross shake his head. "No it's not, Sky. This is not your fault, you hear me? Blaming yourself will do nothing but torture you, and I don't want you torturing yourself." 

"He took her because of me, Ross!" I exploded, furiously wiping my face with the back of my hands. "If I would have just let him see her and be apart of her life, then he wouldn't have taken her! So do not fucking tell me it isn't my fault." I abruptly got to my feet and stormed out of the room, locking myself in the bathroom. Knocks were heard on the door seconds later, and I could hear Ross' voice pleading for me to get out, but I tuned him out. 

I didn't want to hear him tell me that I was wrong, that it wasn't my fault. 

Because it was. Olivia was gone, and it was all my fault. 

I muffled my sobs with my hands, though useless because the volume continued to increase. I sunk down onto the tiled floor, my back against the tub. The pain I felt while giving birth was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. 

"Sky, please open the door! Please, baby." 

Ross' pained voice only made me cry harder, but I mustered up enough strength to stand up and walked over to the door. The second I opened it, Ross wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his waist and just held him. Held him while we both cried and cried, until our eyes were dry and no longer producing tears. 

"It's not your fault, Sky. None of this is your fault." He looked into my eyes, and I assumed mine were as red and puffy as his. "You had every right to keep Olivia from him. He gave up his rights as her father, and it's not your fault that he changed his mind. Blaming yourself is useless because none of this is your fault, okay? Say it with me. It was not my fault."

I repeated his words, though they meant nothing because I knew the truth. Deep down inside, Ross knew it, too. He knew that I was the reason our daughter was gone. It was all my fault. 

~*~

My stomach grumbled for the fifth time in twenty minutes, but I ignored the need for food and continued looking at the picture, rocking back and forth on the chair slowly. My jaw clenched as I held in the tears. 

I could feel Ross' eyes on me, from his position by the door, but I paid no attention to him. I knew he was worried about me, but I could care less. He shouldn't be worried about me when our daughter has been missing for five days. 

Five days. Five days had passed since Ben kidnapped my baby, and there had been no sign of either of them. The police department had put traces on Ben's credit cards and phone, but there had been no activity from either of them. It was like he disappeared off the face of the planet. 

And took Olivia with him. 

I could hear Ross' gentle footsteps as he entered the room, but my position didn't change. I just held onto the picture a little tighter. 

"Sky, you need to come and eat something. You haven't eaten anything in two days." He crouched down in front of me and placed his hands on my thighs, rubbing them softly up and down. "Starving yourself isn't healthy, and it isn't going to do you any good." 

"I can't." I croaked, my eyes finally meeting his. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I just...I-I can't do this anymore. All I want to do is hold my baby in my arms again." A sob escaped my lips and Ross's arms were around me instantly. I clutched the fabric of his shirt, pressing my face into his chest as my hot tears stained the shirt. 

Ross didn't try to comfort me, and I was incredibly grateful. Nothing he could say or do would make me feel better. So instead of words, he opted on just rubbing my back while I cried into his shirt. But I knew I wasn't the only one hurting, and it wasn't fair that Ross was doing everything he could to try and make me feel better. Olivia was my daughter as much as his, and yet he was doing his best to comfort me. 

And the worst wife award goes to...

"How are you feeling?" I questioned, pulling away from his grasp. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I haven't even asked how you're doing since we found out. And don't try to lie to me to make me feel better. How are you feeling?" 

He chewed on his bottom lip and sat down on the rocking chair, pulling me onto his lap. "I-I feel like I'm losing my mind. Every time I close my eyes I see Olivia, and I just want to reach out and hold her, but I can't. I still don't understand how that fucker managed to take her when my parents were in the house." 

It was true. Mark and Stormie were in the house when Olivia was taken. According to Stormie, the two were downstairs while my baby was upstairs taking a nap. The baby monitor was on full blast, but they were concerned when Olivia didn't make any noise in the three hours they were enjoying some alone time. When they went upstairs to check on her, they saw that the window was wide open. 

And Olivia was gone. 

"How could he take our daughter? H-how could he just take her from us?" A tear slid down his cheek, but he didn't bother wiping it away. "We went from being a happy family, to being a broken one in the blink of an eye. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair." He let out a sob and buried my head in the crook of his neck. 

All I could do was hold him, allowing him to let out all he had been holding in. But one thing was for sure. 

It wasn't fucking fair. 

Sad chapter, huh? Sorry, but that's to be expected. I have a feeling this book will only be a few more chapter, maybe five, because I don't want to drag it on for too long. Vote and comment! I love hearing your reactions to what goes on!