Part 16

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Australia. Evening

Felix hasn't called for several days. Bang Chan was worried. Lee also did not answer his last calls. It was more than strange. This had never happened to them before.

Standing by the open window, Bang Chan, after thinking, decided to call Jisung...

-Hello, Han!

-Hello, Christopher! – Han tensed slightly. During his entire stay in Korea, Chan called him for the first time.

-Han, I need to know what's going on with Felix... - Chris asked directly. - He doesn't answer for several days. At the same time, his concerts are held regularly and with great success. And lately he's been kind of... strange or something. Something happened?

-Well... - Jisung hesitated, he was not ready for this question. He saw Hwang leaving Lee's room more than once, either in the morning or at night. They were almost always and everywhere together. And only a blind person would not have noticed their loving glances that they exchanged. Han fell silent. From his reaction, Bang Chan knew that something strange was indeed happening, but he couldn't figure out what.

-Well?! Han?! -Chan was starting to get nervous.

-Well, I don't know... - Han continued to drag on, not knowing how to get out of this situation. He really didn't want to set up Lix, but he couldn't deceive Chris either.

What's going on there!!! HAN!!! Tell it like it is already!!! – Chan began to scream. But suddenly he fell silent and, pulling himself together, said in a quiet, calm voice:

-I'm listening, Sung, tell it like it is. I need to know... Everything...

-It seems that Lix... Well... It seems that Lix got carried away... - Han was ready to fall through the ground. -He seems to be dating, - Han blurted out. There was silence on the other end. Han also fell silent.

-Hanny... does he... have someone? ... another man? – Bang Chan asked after a while, hoping that he misunderstood Han. He didn't have enough air.

-Yes, - Jisung made a choice in favor of Chan. What will happen to Lixie now?

-Who is this and how serious is it? And when did this happen? – Bang Chan felt like the ground was disappearing from under his feet and he was suffocating, but he spoke in an even, calm voice. And he heard his own voice somehow strangely, from the outside.

-This is Hwang Hyunjin... Painter. He's from Seoul...he... accompanies Felix everywhere... He... they... well... in the same room, - Han felt terribly lousy, he had difficulty pronouncing these words. But he couldn't lie to Channy. And Lixie? How can he look him in the eyes now? Oh God!!!

-I understood, - Chan dropped the call.

Bang Chan felt as if his heart had broken into thousands, no, millions of pieces. And all these fragments tore, cut his body and soul into pieces. And each piece caused incredible pain. And every part of his body and soul was bleeding... Bang Chan took a deep breath and held his breath. He closed his eyes and exhaled. That's it... His life is over... There is no more meaning... There is no more meaning... He will goes to the kitchen and takes a knife... And that's all...

So he stood at the window...

How so? His Lixie, his radiant, sweet Lixie? His freckled sun... Everything was too perfect for them. They didn't even quarrel. Never. And now... Lixie... Channy loved Lixie madly. He adored him. Suddenly Channy felt two large tears running down his face. He opened his eyes and blinked away the tears, not allowing them to continue flowing. Then he walked over to the arm-chair and sat down. He looked at the ceiling, remembering his first meeting with Felix, his cheerful laughter... That wonderful, mischievous smile... He felt tears welling up in his eyes again. But Chan restrained himself.

Bang Chan then walked over to the small bar and grabbed a glass and an unfinished bottle of whiskey. He poured himself half a glass. Drank. He poured more. He sat back in his chair and drank. He drank it undiluted, although he usually drank it diluted. The alcohol had a slightly calming effect. No, his life is not over... «If Lixie is better off this way, if he is happy with this Hwang, then let him...» - he thought. Channy poured himself some more whiskey. «Minho... What should I do with him? Lixie...» Bang Chan continued drinking whiskey, pouring himself more and more... Suddenly he wanted to kill Hyunjin. Some kind of slow, painful death... What kind? His thoughts began to blur... He looked at his glass with difficulty - there was still a little there. He looked at the bottle standing on the table - it was empty. Bang Chan drank from his glass and closed his eyes. He felt his consciousness leaving him, he was plunging into darkness, into some kind of hopeless darkness. The empty glass fell from his hand and now lay next to the chair. Channy was passed out...


In the morning, Bang Chan woke up when the sun was already shining with all its might. His head was simply pounding. He looked around - an empty whiskey bottle on the table and a glass on the floor. He picked up the glass, placed it next to the bottle and walked into the bathroom. There he washed his face with cold water. Oh God! Is all this really true? It's not a dream? He looked in the mirror. Not a dream...

That nagging feeling of melancholy, poisoning existence, chilling the soul, came over him again. He wanted to cry... No, not this! He shouldn't become limp! This is not in his rules. He took a deep breath... The water kept flowing and flowing from the tap into the sink...

-Channy! Are you awake? We already had breakfast with nanny Jisoo, - he heard little Minho's voice from behind the door.

-Now, Minho, I'll get dressed and go out! – Chan decided to take a shower. Yes, he shouldn't become limp...

After his shower, he got dressed and went out to Minho. Together they went down to the kitchen, where Channy drank fresh orange juice. Chan decided not to reveal what had happened. He will behave as if nothing had happened. He need to calm down and get distracted. Although this was given to him with great difficulty. He didn't feel like having breakfast, so he and Minho decided to go for a walk.

-Jisoo, you can stay and be free until the evening - I'll take care of Minho myself today, - Chan told Jisoo.

-Fine. I'll go talk to my friends, and I'll be back in the evening, - Jisoo answered. She went to her room to change clothes. However, first she noticed Chan's swollen eyes and what she thought was a slight odor of alcohol. But she didn't show anything.

-Minho, we'll take a walk, and then we need to look at a house by the sea. Do you want to relax in your own house by the sea? There will be a beach and sand there - the day before Chris had his eye on several houses and now he had to choose. After all, life goes on...

-Yes! Yes! I'm with you! – Minho jumped up and down with delight. He loved Channy and Lixie and when they all spent time together! Channy smiled, although he was still in pain. He hugged little Lee Know.

They gathered and began to implement their plans. Life went on...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY CHAN!  03/10/2023

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