Tough Love

Chapter One Hundred Eleven

As I shower, I talk myself into building up my walls and putting on the calm and collected facade. I can't go into work a complete mess, but that's how I feel. I'm frightened for Eli and the team. That nightmare really scared me and I can't shake these feelings. Don might be right when he said I need to talk to Eli about it, but that requires bravery that I don't really have at the moment. I need to find that strength before I can approach the subject. By the time I'm finished getting ready for work, I feel like I've pulled myself together enough to get through the day.

Eli doesn't say anything as he leaves the bedroom and heads to the bathroom. I don't like this awkward tenseness we have going on here, but I don't have enough courage to clear the air. I also don't have the strength to relive the memories right now. My emotions are too raw to handle that.

Both breakfast and the journey to work are silent and tense. Neither Eli or myself do anything to ease the situation, but that gets pushed to the side once we get into work. Ash and Arrow are sitting in front of my desk when we arrive. For someone who says he doesn't want to be part of the team, Arrow is becoming quite a fixture here.

Both guys shoot us smiles and greetings as we approach. They stare at us carefully, considering something. Eventually, Ash asks, "Everything ok, guys?"

My voice betrays my words as I whisper, "Yes sir."

While Eli's voice is calm, smooth and all business as he says, "Let's get to work. Get me up to speed, Arrow."

Normally, I love how collected Eli is, but today I hate it. I hate the fact that he can just carry on like everything is normal while I feel like I'm falling apart. Nothing seems to affect him and I'm jealous of that. Arrow and Eli head to the briefing room, but Ash lingers behind at my desk.

His voice is soft as he grabs my attention, "Hey darlin'. What's going on? You're clearly not ok and don't even get me started on that guy..."

I try to smile at him, but I don't think I quite achieve my goal.

"Did he upset you? Because I'll take him to the training room and sort him out if he did..."

That actually does make me smile, mostly because I know Ash won't beat Eli. They like to tell me about the scores of their training sessions. Eli is way in front of Ash on the tally. I know that was Ash's aim when he says, "There's that smile. What's wrong, darlin'?"

I take a deep breath and let out a sigh, "Just a rough night. I get them sometimes."

He nods, reading between the lines.

"Is that because Eli wasn't with you?"

I shake my head. Although he probably would have been able to calm me down quicker, Eli being there wouldn't have stopped the nightmare.

"Anything you want to talk about?"