Then and now

Chapter 6: Amira's POV

I notice straight away that my dad is different around her. Happier, kinder maybe. It's weird seeing him like this. I don't ever remember him being happy- really. When I was younger, maybe. But I was naive and stupid back then. Everyone looked and seemed happy to me. Even me. 

We sit down at the dinner table and Sarah lays out the food. 

"I'll do it, honey," My dad takes the plates from her. My mouth has to be wide open by now. My dad, helping out? Not in my world. 

My dad sets the table and then sits down. 

"Tell me about yourself. I want to know everything." 

My dad smiles at Sarah, and it makes me want to punch him in the face. 

"Richard has barely told me anything about you!" She playfully shoves him. 

I give him a pained look. He knows why he hasn't told her anything about me. Because he doesn't know anything about me. He's never asked. And he knows that. I think his plan must be just to pray that I will forgive him. Hope that I will welcome Sarah with open arms into a family that is barely even there in the first place. 

"Yeah. Well, I'm 17 and on summer break right now. I go to the local high school. Uh... I like to read," I struggle with finding things to say- I don't have many hobbies. 

"That's so lovely. Maybe I'll get you some books sometime," She smiles and my Dad smiles with her. 

"Yeah. She loves it when I get her books. Don't you darling?" My dad looks at me and I nod meekly. 

He has never bought me books. Ever. He didn't even know that I liked reading. Once I asked him to buy me a book for Christmas, and he gave me 20 bucks and told me to get it myself. He didn't even look up from the TV.

We start to eat, and she asks me many questions throughout the night. My dad is mostly silent. He doesn't even know the things I'm telling Sarah. 

She asks typical things, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' and 'What's your favorite subject in school?" 

I answer each time politely, despite the constant screaming in my head. 

I have nothing against Sarah. I like Sarah. It's my dad that I have the issue with. I realize more and more throughout the night that my dad has made Sarah think that he's a good dad. A loving, caring parent who I love. He made her think that he has a happy family back home. 

It makes my blood boil- the fact that he lied about our relationship so that he could get the girl. Instead of making an effort to have a relationship with me, he lies. 

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, shut the door and cry. Tears are streaming down my face and I use my sleeve to stop anyone from hearing anything. 

I normally wouldn't cry about this sort of thing, considering what I've been through. But I can't help it. My own father needs to act like he loves me for his own benefit. No consideration to my feelings whatsoever. 

 I jump when my phone rings from my pocket. It reads 'UNKNOWN NUMBER'. I wipe my tears and get off the floor. 

When I answer I hear the voice I least expect on the other line. Asher.

"Hey Mira," I smile through my tears at the nickname, "Can I come over now?" 

I check the time. 7 p.m. 

I try to make my voice sound as normal as possible, not knowing if he will be able to tell that I was crying. 

"Yeah. My stepmother is still over though so give it 10 minutes." 

I only sniffle twice in that sentence. Accomplishment, if I do say so myself. 

"Okay cool. See you." 

I hang up and look at my puffy face in the mirror. That just makes me cry even more. I need something. I open the bathroom cabinet and scan the shelves until I find what I am looking for. 

'Benzodiazepines, prescribed for anxiety to Amira Morelli' 

I grab the pill bottle out and take 2 out. This medication was prescribed to me by my doctor for anxiety and panic attacks. I use it for that, and also just whenever I need a release. 

I'm only supposed to use them very rarely and when I'm feeling a severe panic attack coming on and it's likely I will hurt myself. 

I'd say I use these about once a week at this point, at least. 

I pop them into my mouth, pull my hair back, and turn the bathroom sink water on. I swallow them down with ease and then I splash my face with the cold water. 

I go downstairs- praying that I don't look too rough. 

"I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. Very nice meeting you though, Sarah." 

"You too honey. Have a good sleep."

I smile at her but don't bother to even look at my dad. 

A/n

This chapter was fun to write. Poor Amira :(. I promise I will show you what her previous trauma is. It's intense, and I don't want to introduce it too early. Be patient, it will be worth it. Especially when Asher finds out about it ;)

Have the best day my lovesss. 

*Not edited