Blackest Souls, Darkest Nights

24. Priorities

Oh, how Bhu'ja wished he could go with her.

But Lucy had yet to tell him about her encounter with Mortimer. And that within a matter of hours, the dynamic between them and the TAF had shifted. She felt as if she didn't have to fear for her life every time she stepped outside. But, oh, did Lucy fight with herself. She knew that Bhu'ja still ached from Bahtih's death, and she knew how badly he wanted the TAF to pay for what they'd done.

But hadn't they paid enough?

If anything, Lucy was terrified about how Bhu'ja would act if he learned that she let Mortimer go. Well, that wasn't really true, was it? He had let her go. Again. But would he admonish her for a missed opportunity? For not truly avenging Bahtih, Edith, or Indy? Or Penny?

But the fighting couldn't go on forever. It had to stop somewhere.

They just had to accept that everyone had lost. And they'd all paid their own karma.

Lucy shook herself from her thoughts. She couldn't go assuming things. Her fears weren't a reflection of Bhu'ja.

The brunette looked over at him, lying supine on the mattress, covered up to his chest with blankets. His eyes were closed, and he took deep rattling breaths. Lucy yearned to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. She wanted to take away his suffering; if anything, go back to that moment and stand in his place instead.

Lucy frowned. She zipped up her bag and threw it over her shoulders. It didn't matter. What's done is done. And she knew that she wouldn't want to be coddled if the positions were reversed.

The only thing that marked Lucy's leaving was her retreating footsteps. Bhu'ja watched through half-lidded eyes as she opened the door, but he quickly closed them when the woman turned back to glance at him one more time before the door shut.

▲▲▲

Only a few hours had passed before the crack of dawn peaked over the horizon. Standing between the trees a few ways from their new temporary location, Lucy peered through the darkness, trying to discern any shapes between the thicket of trees that bundled close together. She knelt to grab the snare that had scored her a couple of rodents and one fat raccoon, which, embarrassingly, had to be lured with a stupid game of cat and mouse.

At this point, Lucy felt sick with hunger as she moved. She placed one hand over her stomach as she rose to her feet. Hunting was never an easy job, especially in the absence of her bow and arrows. It had been a long time since she'd had to catch her food the old way, and snares were never a guarantee.

Those stupid fucking Bloaters...

Lucy had always possessed a particular disdain for those nightmarish creatures. Though she'd only encountered them on select few occasions, the very first time being in Fort Wayne, Indiana. That was part of the reason why she'd hated that place so much.

A long sigh exhaled through her nose as she made the journey back to the house. Lucy kept an eye and an ear out for anything, but this part of the QZ had been pretty much cleansed from infected, and the TAF had completely retreated. Her back no longer prickled when she walked down the street.

Bhu'ja was still asleep by the time Lucy made it back. She watched him for a second or two, observing the way in which his chest rose and fall with deep breaths, and how his mandibles twitched every now and again, in sync with whatever dream played out in his subconscious.

Lucy softly smiled before she began to prepare the raccoon. Her hunger sickness had morphed into hunger pain — a consistent, stabbing ache that made doing things painful. As soon as she began to cook the animal, she quickly tore off small pieces to begin nibbling on the meat. She thought she might throw up, but it never came.