Guns'n'roses | Harley Quinn X Poison Ivy X Male Reader (Harley Quinn show)

The Line

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?."

"You smell like shit, you have blood under your fingernails and you look like you haven't had a good sleep in months-"

"I've been sleeping in the closet for two months, of course, I haven't had good sleep, and I'm sorry if this is the only thing I can wear, every time I go to the store, you and Harley laugh at everything I put on."

"Hey, that's not true." Ivy folded her arms. "...I mean...that jacket looks nice on you, also, aren't you an assassin, don't all assassins have like high-tech gear and fancy weapons."

"For the twenty-eight time." You said, slowly getting pissed. "All of my shit was taken by the cops when they arrested me."

"Why didn't you have another place to store all of your guns and masks and ugly suits-"

"First, those suits were not ugly, they were awesome, and second, have you seen the prices for living these days, five and a half million dollars for a small, square box apartment in Metropolis and ten million for some underwater home in Atlantis, and Gotham's prices aren't getting any smaller than they were." 

"He has a point." King Shark was reading a book.

"What are you reading?." Ivy asked.

"Apparently there's a shark that's smart enough to write books, most of them are in second person but I'll tell you they aren't half bad." King Shark flipped the page of the book he was reading.

"What's this book about?." You asked.

"Some inventor that lives in a kingdom full of mushrooms and has a ton of women and I mean a ton, princesses, monsters, a girl with horns and can spit fire."

"Looks like I need to become an inventor." Dr. Psycho sat down on the couch opening a soda.

"Oh please, with your height you couldn't get any action." You laughed.

"I have a child, and just tell me how many women you've banged, I'm sure they all laughed when they saw your little friend."

"I've done two." you grabbed a soda from the fridge.

"...Really now?..." Ivy looked at you, her face blanked. "...mind telling us the names?."

"Sure..." you smiled before quickly thinking of fake names, you couldn't tell Ivy that you have fucked Harley, or the other way around. "...Hailey Quinton and Pamme Isay..."

That's when Harley walked in with her phone.

"Guys, I got it the perfect heist." She sat down on the couch. 

"Well, I'm all ears." King Shark continued reading. "So what is it this time?."

 "Bane, Sinestro, Grodd, I mean, even Joker." Harley went through the photos on her phone.

 "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Psycho rolled his eyes. "We know what they look like, what's your point?."

"That they've all tried and failed to steal Kord Industries' game-changing weather machine." Harley smiled, pulling up a picture of the said machine. "Which is why we are gonna do it." 

"If none of them could steal it, that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try." King Shark looked worried.

"But if we succeed, it will make the Legion so furious, they'll have to notice us." Harley grinned. "I sent Clayface to do some recon."

"My character was a sassy divorcee..." Clayface turned into a woman. 

"Can we please not do the unnecessary backstory thing?." Psycho asked.