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I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door but didn't have the energy to welcome whoever it was in. I didn't even bother to turn around. I kept my back to my door and just stared out the window in my bedroom. Nathan drove me home last night, it was now nearing 5pm the next day and Lucas still hasn't reached out to me. I guess I can't blame him though.
"Sweetie?" My mothers soft voice spoke as my door creaked open. "Go away." I mumbled, turning into my pillow. "Baby..." a few seconds past before I felt the bed dip down behind me and then an arm wrap around me. "What happened last night?" She spoke softly but I still felt to uneasy to answer her question. My parents love Luke, especially my mother. She and Karen have been planning our wedding since we met. I'll never forget how happy they looked when Lucas and I told them that we were officially dating.
"Did Dan say anything to you last night? I swear I'll kill him." I sniffled as I finally turned my head to look at her. "I broke up with Lucas." I admitted, making her face drop even more. "And now he hates me and I lost my best friend." My voice cracked as I pushed myself into my mothers arm. "Oh, baby." She rubbed my back up and down while I cried into her arms. "What happened? Why'd you break up?" Now I can answer that in a five thousand word essay but I know it all goes down to one thing. One person. "I like Nathan."
"Nathan Scott?" She didn't sound mad, just shocked. I took a deep breath as I sat up, pulling myself from her. "I don't think I ever liked Lucas like that. When I'm around Nathan, I just..." Honestly I can't even find the words to describe how Nathan makes me feel or how I feel about him. It's just like a part of me belongs with a part of him or something, I don't know. "You love him?" My mothers eyes slightly widened but I shook my head.
"No, no... I hardly know him." My mother just smiled at me, which was pretty confusing seems I expected her to scold me for this. "Baby-girl, since you started tutoring Nathan, there's this sparkle in your eyes. And when anyone mentions him, good or bad or even if it's a random person across the room, your lips turn up and I don't think you even realize it." I didn't. I didn't know either of those things. "That's how I was when I met your father."
"I don't love him." I can't. "But I really like him." My lips slightly turned up as I wiped my wet cheeks dry. "I just hate that I have to lose Luke to get the one thing I want." I've always been one for friends before partners, especially when you've been best-friends for so long like Lucas and I. "Want my advice or do you want to figure it out on your own?"
I glanced to the part of my bedroom wall that's filled with pictures of the ones I love and my favourite memories, 99% of those memories and pictures had Lucas in them. I quietly sighed, turning back to my mom. "I need your help with this one." I caved. "If Lucas really loves you the way everyone knows he does, he'll come around. You guys were best-friends for years before you got together, I think you can go back to that."
"I also think you need to talk to Lucas, tell him how you really feel. He's understanding, baby." I picked at the skin of my nails as she went on. "Yeah I guess so." She reached forward, brushing my hair back. "And baby-girl, if you need to put your happiness to the side for someone else, maybe you need to rethink that relationship, not the one you're going after." I get that, if Lucas really loves me he'd just want me to be happy but I just really wish I could be happier with someone other than his brother.
