Rêveuse

Chapter 10.

Charles finished p7 in the race, and was in a bad mood when we got out of the paddock. He immediately changed from the way he had been the past week until the guy I kept having the same arguments with. The one who thinks that driving a red car around is worth sacrificing everything else in his life for. I know he wants to do it, and it's his dream, but is it worth not having room for anything else? I am trying so hard to understand, but I don't.

We went back to the hotel, and then he took me to the airport the next morning so that I could fly home while he flew to Belgium.

—

Charles came back after the race in Belgium, ready for summer break. He had scored a podium, so he was in a good mood. I was in less of a good mood, knowing we still had to talk, because we can't go on a vacation with his mom, brother's and their girlfriends with a dark cloud still hanging over us.

I've always hated spoiling his good mood though, so I waited until the next day, saving it until we were having breakfast to tell him that we need to discuss it again. He didn't seem to like it, but I don't like it either, but it still has to be done. So we went over the same stuff all over again, he doesn't understand where I'm coming from and I think his reasoning is crazy.

"On n'arrive à rien, C!" We're not getting anywhere, C! he exclaimed in frustration.

"Tu as raison," You're right, I replied tiredly, "peut-être que tu devrais dire à ta famille que j'ai la grippe," maybe you should tell your family I have the flu, I state after a moment's thinking.

"Ne sois pas stupide," Don't be stupid, he replied while shaking his head.

I raised my eyebrows but chose to ignore him, "Que devrions-nous faire alors? Nous ne pouvons pas gâcher leurs vacances parce que nous continuons à nous disputer sur la même chose." What should we do then? We can't ruin their vacation because we keep arguing about the same thing.

"Alors résolvons-le!" So let's solve it!

"Je ne veux pas que notre relation se résume à des apparitions en relations publiques. Je ne négocierai pas ça," I don't want our relationship to be about PR appearances. I won't negotiate that, I stated loud and clear with my eyes set strictly on his.

I waited for him to tell me that he doesn't think it is, or that I shouldn't be so against helping himself, because it doesn't really affect me negatively, as far as he's willing to understand. I thought he was going to repeat the same thing, going another round of the same things, but he just nodded his head without letting go of our eye contact.

"C, je ferai de mon mieux pour te voir davantage. Il ne s'agira pas que de quelques photos. Je te verrai parce que je veux te voir," C, I will do my best to see you more. It won't just be for a few photos. I will see you because I want to see you, he said.

He looked so serious that I almost believed it without questioning it. I was close to just nodding and giving him a kiss before going to pack for the trip. But it shouldn't be this easy, and I didn't want him to just say that to make the argument go away, or as a way to get me to go with him and his family.

"Je ne veux pas que tu dises ça pour faire disparaître ça. Je veux que tu me montres que tu es sérieux," I don't want you to say that to make this go away. I want you to show me that you are serious, I said, watching him reach out for my hand.

"Et je le ferai." And I will.

So I packed my bags and two days later we were getting on a boat to Corsica with his family. Everything had been fine since that conversation, and it might make you think that it was easily solved, but there had been conversations going in circles for over two weeks by that point, we were both so tired of constantly having the same thing bothering us.