Minamoto Kou just tried to commit suicide.
Minamoto Kou tried to kill himself.
And it's all because of Mitsuba.
Kou jumped out of a 5th story window, because of Mitsubaーhis only friend just tried to end his own life just to stay with him.
The bushes are scratchy and brittle, a painful net to break the two's fall. It's silent, except for the sounds of the stars that seem to shriek 'it's all your fault,' yelling accusations and guilty verdicts.
". . why did you do that?" Mitsuba heard the sound of his own voice, echoing across the yard. "Why the hell did you do that, youーyou psycho!" He feels his own fists punch at the air, but it's as if he's only observing.
A visitor in this 'body,' a guest in this form. His skin doesn't fit the same as it used to, and all he desires is to crawl out. "I. . isn't that what you wanted?"
Kou's voice, now. Uttering the last question he wanted to hear, because Sousuke knows it's trueーit's what he wants. Or, it's what he wanted. He wanted Kou to die as well, so he doesn't have to leave.
But he can't kill Kou. He can't let his only friend die because of him, let alone for him. "Nーno! Why the hell would I want that, you imbecile?! Manatee brained idiot!"
". . Oh." Minamoto's confidence wavers, and it's not until Mitsuba turns his head that he notices the shiny tears falling down Kou's face. "I thought. . I thought that, if I died, then. ."
"You. . you're so stupid." Mitsuba states, covering his eyes with his hands. But they don't feel like his hands. Not anymore. "You can't die. It's not fair."
Sousuke feels his pain well up in his eyes, as if his face were a gutter awaiting a storm. "If you're gonna go commit suicide, leave me out of it. . . you can't kill yourself for me."
He feels the words eat at the back of his throat, itching to get out. Because I want you to live. Because I love you. "Because. . you need to go and live for a long time. . with daikonーchan."
"Yeah. . how do you think she'd feel if you went and died? Idiots like you don't get to die. It puts shame to the adorable people who're gone. Like me." He forces a grin, sitting up to observe Kou's state.
". . . I don't get you at all. You supernaturals, you're. . I dont understand you one bit." Kou stares at him in awe, knees bruised and fists bleeding from the impact of his fall. "I thought I'd figured you out. I thought. . I thought you wanted me to die, too. But you. . you're mad at me for it."
"Of course I don't want you to die, dumbass! You're my friend, goddammitー" Mitsuba's speech cuts off, throat closing as he hears himself. That's not what he meant to say. He meant to spit insults, to mock him for being a desperate loser.
But it brings a certain ache to his chest. Friend. Is that what they are? Friends? It is, right? Then why does it hurt so badly to hear?
"I. ." Kou's tongue ties itself into a knot. "I'm your friend?" Fuck. He heard. He noticed. "You're. . only because there's nobody else to talk to. I'd abandon you for someone else, if one came along."
That was a lie and he knows it, as his stomach spins with that familiar feeling of guiltーone which has grown very close to him. "Mitsuba," He hears his nameーhis name. Yet, it feels so far, as if a title he's trying earnestly to cling to.
He doesn't feel like 'Mitsuba' anymore. He doesn't feel like anyone. And that's why he can't let Kou die. If Kou's dead, so is he, deader than he already is. Kou knows Mitsuba. He knew him before he died, though only brieflyーand he has known him through all the afters.
Minamoto Kou is the proof that Mitsuba was alive at all. Evidence that he once belonged hereーthat he was wanted, then; As wanted as an insignificant brat can be.
"Mitsuba? Can you hear me?" No, he wants to say. Shut up, trafficーearring, also comes to mind. But all that emerges is a tear. It drips down his face, pooling at his jaw, before falling onto his cardigan.
"Mitsuba. .? What's. ." But Sousuke can't hear anything anymoreーnot when his own sobs are so loud. Pathetic cries echo throughout his skull, bouncing around inside his brain.
"Dーdon't look at me! Leave me alone, you idiot, I can smell you from over here! Just go away!" He can feel his throat grow hoarse, the yelling making his head hurt. He curls into himself, head on his knees.
He doesn't hear the shuffle of prickly leaves as Kou stands up, nor the tickle of air as he walks over towards the pinkーhaired boy with a stupidly determined look on his face.
It's only when he feels arms wrap around his shoulder than he jolts back to the near shore, eyes wide and red from crying as he stares as menacingly as possible at Minamoto. Minamoto Kou, who has just embraced him.
The warmth is not disagreeable, nor is the gentle touch of Kou's obnoxiously yellow hair against his cheek. It's quiet, except for the pounding of his heart in his ears and their combined breaths.
He closes his eyes, one last tear trailing down. He stares at the still dark sky behind Kou, the stars that shine brighter than ever.
But Mitsuba has found the star that glows with more ferocity than any other.
The brightest star in the sky, the one holding him in a tight hug right nowー
The star that is Minamoto Kou.
