appreciated

✧ 35

Haechan pulled away from the hug and looked into the dark brown eyes he always loved. A soft reassuring smile painted his lips, before he kissed the girls forehead and and then a peck on her lips.

"We don't have to talk about it if you aren't comfortable. Whenever you are and want to, you always can. I'll never stop you. But for now, let's get you fed. I made you some ramen." He said, gently grabbing her hand and holding it whike pulling her into the kitchen.

He then opened up the fridge and took out the wrapped up ramen. Unwrapping it, he quickly put it into the microwave and pressed 1 minute and 30 seconds. Once it beeped, he took it out and placed it on the counter where she was sitting.

"Bon apetité," the boy grinned, making a small smile break through Umji's lips. She let out a small 'thank you' before digging into the food made by her boyfriend.

She ate in silence, the boy making himself something to drink while she ate. She was glad he didn't watch her eat, or pressure her into telling him her whole backstory about her fucked up ex.

After finishing the ramen quickly, she made eye contact with those lovely brown eyes. She almost got lost in them. She cleared her throat, not making eye contact with the boy anymore.

"I need to tell you sooner or later. And sooners better." Haechan gave her the 'are you sure' look while she gave him a small nod.

"I met him when I was a junior in high school, so when I was sixteen. We didn't really know eachother, nor care that much for eachother. We had to do a project together and we would stay at eachothers places working on it. That's when we really started to click. Or at least that's what I thought. We started talking more and more, slowly becoming more close and comfortable around eachother,"

"We got so comfy that we started to even hold hands or show affection towards one another. Blah, blah, blah, we started to date. It went smoothly like for the first month or two, but everything went to shit after that. He started to show his true colors. He would bodyshame me, gave me an ED, compliement other girls and then degrade me, manipulate me, verbally and sometimes even physically abuse me."

"I stayed because his 'love' and affection were the only things I really ever had. I've never been in a serious relationship like this before. He rarely complimented me, and when he did, it was usually on my body. "Babe you look really good. Did you lose some weight?" he would usually say. That's when I developed an ED. Well of course—with the help of his bodyshaming. I could barely look at myself in pictures, videos, or even any mirrors. Even seeing my own body in first person was disgusting."

"The one mistake that changed and ruined my life was the nudes. Me sending nudes to him. I didn't want to do it but the pressure and overthinking got to me. All I thought was about making him happy. And that was at a time where I felt most proud of my ED. When I sent them, I waited for a praise, a smile, or even a thumbs up. But all I got was being left on seen."

"The next day almost everyone knew about it. Girls were calling me sluts and avoiding me, guys cat calling me or openly slut shaming me. I was the 'whore' of the school. After high school I quickly moved to a different city, trying to start new. That's when I met Soojun and Dami. The only one's, besides my family, that know about my ex. It still haunts me. I feel physically sick."

Umji finished up the backstory with a shakey sigh, sinking deeper into her already oversized hoodie. Haechan blinked a few times, trying to stuff his brain with the new information. His knuckles were turning white from everything that was just said to him.