Y/N looks around frantically for toilet paper, but none was to be found. what can they do now? they sat on their destroyed toilet, thinking of how they can get toilet paper to wipe their booty.
suddenly, Y/N got an idea!
they'll call dr. plablo for some toilet paper!!!
Y/N picks up their shredded up pants and digs in their pocket for their phone. they grab their phone and call dr. plablo.
"what the fuck do you want now, bitch?" dr. plablo, answers as he picks up the phone.
"listen man... i ran out of toilet paper. can u bring me some?" Y/N asks, the booty burn startin to kick in.
"WH- NO! I have CLIENTS!" dr plablo shouts into the phone before turning to look at his 'clients'. one of them is a drug dealer with a broken arm and the other is a lady with a goldfish bowl stuck on her foot.
"oh yeah, im also performing surgery right now," he continues, looking down at his patient. "i cant perform this and talk on the phone at the same time. you'll have to get somebody else so you can fuck up their day. ha," dr. plablo sneers.
Y/N furrows their eyebrows in anger. "Y'know what? FUCK YOU! i'll just call somebody else! hope you get hit with a brick! bye, you home remedied horses ass!" they yell, ending the call.
"hey- what the fuck did you just call me? why i'll- oh- SHIT!" dr. plablo loses grip of his phone. the phone falls straight into his patient's open stomach. dr. plablo's eyes widen in fear. he can get sued for this and he's already rat broke. thankfully the patient is knocked out by some illegal anesthesia he bought on the black market.
"uhh.. oh man," dr. plablos mutters.
(back at y/n's house)
"Ugh! Who am I gonna call now? My booty's burning n' my shit is leaking like a Roto-Rooter pipe!" Y/N complains, staring at their phone. They scroll through their contacts, (which only consists of 6 people). They then stopped on a name.
Sanford! He's reliable! He's also their drug dealer, but that doesn't matter right now!
Y/N taps on their name and waits for him to pick up. The phone rings a few times, but there's no answer. That's strange. He usually answers. Y/N calls again, still no answer. They start to get fed up and just start spamming him with calls and texts.
Y/N: SANFRD!! EMERGENCY PICK UP NIW!!1!! REALLY IMPORTANT!!!! DONT ignore ME!!! THIS IS LKE REALLY RLIFE THRERATENNINfG ITS DRIPPINGGG IT STINKS -------------------------------------------------------- Delivered - 10:32 AM
Y/N calls Sanford a few more time before he finally picks up.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Why ya' blowin' up my damn phone? I can't sell you anything right now I'm-"
"Nono!" Y/N interrupts. "I don't wanna buy anything. I need toilet paper, STAT!" They yell into the phone.
.
.
.
"...what?"
"TOILET PAPER! NEED. NOW!!!"
"...are you okay? Did you take a large dose or..-" Sanford says, genuinely concerned.
"Listen. My shit is dropping like missiles from vietnam and flowing like a damn river. Can you get me the toilet paper or not?"
"Okay, Listen. I'm at the doctor's right now. I got a broken arm n' I don't wanna lose my place in line." He looks at the lady with a fishbowl on her foot and the doctor trying to grab his phone from inside the patient. It's weird that the waiting room is in the same room as the operating room, and the waiting chairs is just lawn chairs, probably stolen from the next door neighbor. He's having second thoughts of coming here.
"Anyway, I'm busy right now. Sorry. Maybe I can help you out later... if I make it outta here alive." He whispers the end part before hanging up.
Ugh! How hard is it to get one roll of toilet paper? There's not much time left. The booty burn is starting to spread and it seems all hope is lost.
But, an idea comes to their head. Should they do it.
The idea seems mad, insane even, but there's no other options.
Y/N sighs and looks around the bathroom. There is nothing else they can use to wipe their STINKLICIOUS booty. They have no choice but to use their suprpeme, mape, bucci shirt. They take off their shirt and rip a piece of it. They use it to clean the dookie crust forming on their booty. They feel a slight relief, but are pissed that they never got their toilet paper.
"this fuckin' sucks. im done." y/n says in defeat, throwing the piece of shirt into the toilet before flushing it. Instead of the shit going down, the toilet gets clogged and it leaks onto the fuckin floor.
Y/N leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind them and falls onto their shitty couch with nikocado avocado twerking playing on the box tv.
just another tuesday.
to be contunied...💀⁉⁉
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