Hotel del Luna

Chapter 48:Pure White

Nayeon tensed, still not looking at Y/N, "There was more to it, wasn't there?"

Y/N bit her lip. Briefly, she wondered if the truth would bring Nayeon closure, somehow lessening the pain Nayeon had carried in her heart for five-hundred years.

Nayeon has not been used, or tricked. But Y/N knew that she would only be assuaging her guilt; not Nayeon's.

Nayeon would be comforted, but she wouldn't be able to forgive herself for being loved by Y/N.

"I'm just here to say goodbye," Y/N said, her arms coming up to wrap around herself protectively, "You won't have to see me ever again, Nayeon."

Nayeon's eyes narrowed, "You're not leaving until you explain."

"It doesn't matter," Y/N answered dully, "Regardless of the reason, I betrayed you and your country. That's all."

Nayeon's hands clenched and she faced Y/N, "Don't do that," she said, her voice low, "Don't spare me. Don't shut me out, Y/N."

Y/N turned her body to Nayeon and forced herself to glare at her, "What will you do if you know? It won't change what I have done, Nayeon."

"I don't care," Nayeon ground out, her voice harrowed, "It's been five-hundred years and I still don't understand. Why did you betray me only to drive my own sword into your heart? Why did you have that look on your face before you died? Why did you have that same look today?"

Y/N swallowed again the growing lump in her throat and turned her face away, fearing that she might break.

Nayeon did not touch her, but her voice was impossibly quiet, "I want the truth, Y/N."

Y/N's nails dug crescent moons into her upper arms. Words bubbled up in her throat against her will.

Y/N scoffed and met Nayeon's gaze, "The truth?" she echoed, tortured, "I was a coward; a runaway. I abandoned my sister, my kingdom, everything I had ever known. I didn't want to see blood, so I left it all behind." she shut her eyes, unable to stop herself from talking.

"But then..." Y/N trailed off, "I met you. I started to want things. I wanted to keep living in that tiny village, I wanted to keep drinking Makgeolli with you at that lake, I wanted to keep running into you at town - I wanted it to never end. But more than anything, I wanted you to live. I was selfish." she took a deep steadying breath, "Giving up the Moon Kingdom was the price I paid to save you. Nothing mattered more."

Nayeon was silent in the wake of her confession, and continued to stare at Y/N.

Y/N clenched her jaw, "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking away, "I'm sorry for loving you back then. I'm sorry for finding you and loving you in this lifetime as well, Nayeon." she stepped back and waited for Nayeon's inevitable anger, for the crushing depth of her rejection, or even worse, Nayeon's guilt.

But to Y/N's never-ending surprise, Nayeon stepped forward and caught her hand, Y/N's breath hitched.

Slowly, Nayeon brushed away the tear that slid down Y/N's cheek, "That's twice." she whispered.