i want to breathe, for one second more - kazuscara (原神)

chapter 11 - a spark of false hope

Maybe it wouldn't–

But what if it–

And if I said these words– Then,

Would you–

So cough up those words–

Hiding in the back of your throat– Tell me,

Would it–

Hurt so much, if you said–

...

– – – – –

Scaramouche heard a small gasp behind him and put his arms out just in time to stop his travelling companion from tripping over a pile of rocks. Nice reflexes, he praised himself silently.

"Oh– Oops...! Sorry about that," the other male panicked as he steadied himself again. "That was my fault for not looking where I was going. We were getting so close to our destination, I didn't expect the last section of the walk to be this challenging to traverse!"

Scaramouche shrugged, "I see. That's understandable. Nature is cruel at times." They almost seemed to have forgotten the event that had occurred a few hours before, continuing to joke around as if they were extremely close. Scaramouche was slightly amazed at Kazuha's ability to return to a "normal mental state" after such an incident. Or, at least, fool him into thinking so.

"Huu, you're so cold... I thought we would be much closer after spilling such secrets. Hehe, it's alright though! Nevermind a little conversation then..."

Oh. Okay. It didn't matter. Whatever.

"I'm not 'cold'," Scaramouche put his hand up in defiance. "Anyway, it's fine. A conversation to distract ourselves from the blistering heat? Yes, please. I mean, can you hear the cicadas?"

With summer came cicadas. "Semi", they were called in Inazuma. The males' iconic mating song brought pain to Scaramouche's ears. He'd been trying to ignore the cacophony of the cicadas' call for all this time but it was not working. At all. He cringed, thinking about the insects.

"Yes! I can," Kazuha exclaimed. "Semi, like the ones back home. I mean, what would be a summer without them? Ahaha... Even in a foreign land, my mother tongue lingers."

"Poetry? Please don't write a poem about them. I hate cicadas."

"You're just mean, they're lovely. You know, the hotter the day, the louder they sing?"

"I didn't know, I didn't want to know, I didn't want to want to know. But hey, in Inazuma, they actually symbolise rebirth... rebirth, resurrection, all that stuff. Creepy."

"Creepy? Eh? No way! That's interesting! Wait a minute, actually– Say, Scaramouche, how would you like to be resurrected?"

Scaramouche stared at Kazuha for a few seconds. Now that was creepy. Although he would never get resurrected and he had no obligation to answer, he still replied to Kazuha's strange question. "Oh, jeez, I don't know," he rolled his eyes. "That's, like, totally a normal question that I would have an immediate answer to. How would I want to die? What on earth?"

"No, no, sorry–! I mean, if you could choose, what would you want to be in your next life?" Kazuha asked. "Mhm, it's out of the ordinary but it gets you thinking, doesn't it?"

"Now that you put it like that... I guess I would want to be anything other than a human. Maybe a higurashi? Nah. I just said that I hated cicadas. Nevermind. I don't know. How about you?"

The other thought for a moment and stared intently at the ground as they walked, putting a hand to the side of his face. "I would want to be... a cat. Like, neko. They seem so peaceful and can find happiness in the smallest things. My travelling companion had one before! She's still with me, her name is Tama. If you gave her a cardboard box, she would be more than delighted..."