𝗽𝗶𝘅𝗶𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄, james potter

PADFOOT'S FAIL-SAFE WAY TO CHARM WITCHES

So, all I'm saying with this, I guess, is if you've ever heard James talking about Evans - don't repeat them! No further questions.

NO. 4 PARTY ETIQUETTE 

Parties happen quite often around here. More often than necessary, which is the only reason why its this high on the list - otherwise it would be somewhere way down and the last thing you need to worry about, got it? Anyways, parties...

You are not to hang onto a girl like you're that leech that attached itself to Roger during that Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Nobody wants a that. Nobody, let alone a girl. I've tried all variations of this and trust me, none of them work. You are not to hang around her like a pixie on a bad day, you are to hover around at a safe distance away - and we're talking common room parties here so it's about... a five-or-six-people-distance.

And don't get me wrong, I am not saying you need to keep an eye on this girl - please, for the love of all things good in this world don't do that. Leave her be. Talk to your own friends, drink with your own friends, bump into her every once in a while, and if you get to talking, there you go.

You bump into her? Offer to top up her drink, or better yet, make her a new one. Offer her a smoke, don't be too drunk, be smiley and positive and don't act like nothing's right in the world because in actuality it's a party to forget the fact that we lost to Ravenclaw.

You see her sat by herself? Wander her over, ask if she wants some water, mention it's quite hot in here, and if she - she, not you - suggests that you go and get some fresh air, you take some water with you, a bottle of Firewhiskey hidden in your pocket and you find somewhere away from the party. Not too far, mind you, she can't be trailing miles to go back if she decides to, but just a little way.

And this is not code for a shag - sorry Remus, you'll hate this - but I've mistaken it as such before. It is not. It is chance for a conversation and a breather. Now, on the other hand, if you're in a quiet place... there's a bit of a low soundtrack somewhere in the distance and she leans in then hey, go for it.

But otherwise, a party is a socialising event... shut the hell up Prongs, I do not sound like your mother.

NO. 5 WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL

Now, this is... this is important.

You've been friends for a bit, right? And you've noticed she's interested... what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Right... so you've been friends, you've had several conversations over the course of several days... weeks even. You need to spend casual time together, not planned either, just let it happen naturally, slip in a few compliments in here and there.

And take notice, for fuck's sake, please take notice of how she responds.

So you've managed to have a good few conversations with her, she's responded well to your very normal, not at all weird compliments, you're quite naturally spending more time with her. Now you start taking notice of the little things.

She's sitting closer to you, maybe, doesn't move when she crosses her legs and one of her feet rests against yours, she touches your hand, she smiles at you whenever you see each other, looks across at you in the Great Hall, laughs at all your jokes, touches your shoulder or something.

Those things are signals. Now, don't get too excited, we all know how James got that time when Evans actually laughed at one of his dogshit jokes. Just wait, see if it happens again, then another, then another, and suddenly you're spending all your time together and she's flirting with you in that kind of discreet way because she can't tell if you actually like because you've been playing it cool.