Ronny

Chapter 50

"I'm sorry," I say after a second. I am being so dramatic. Ronny looks at another woman and I snap at him like this, I'm insane.

"We can hang out tomorrow?" I ask. He just nods, "I will walk you to your car."

"No, it's ok." I tell him, but he walks me anyway.

When I get in my car and watch him leave I put my head in my hands, trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

Why am I so upset? He didn't do anything.

I don't want to be, but I just am.

This woman...I don't even know her name, and she comes and insults me then I catch Ron looking at her chest and I know that I don't have what she has.

What if Ronny realizes he can do so much better than me?

What if he decides he wants a girl who will sleep with him, or he wants someone with more than just B cup breasts, or with a smaller waist?

I drive myself home, my eyes watery but I refuse to cry. I feel pathetic, and mean.

Because I am.

Poor Ron wanted to hang out with me and I said no because I am insecure.

He deserves so much better.

———

Two days pass until Ron asks if I am free. I had a sleepover with Alyssa last night where she told me I should cut off his....for looking at another woman, but I decided that is too intense for me.

So now I sit in my kitchen eating a bagel, waiting for Ron to pick me up.

I decided to get over myself.

So what, I don't have big boobs. Big deal.

When Ron is here, I go out to his car and take a deep breath, not wanting to be mad or anything.

"Hello." I greet him as I climb in.

"You feeling better?" He asks me. I just nod.

"Owen has some people over swimming, do you want to? We can stay inside if you don't." Ron asks.

"I don't care" I shrug, genuinely having no opinion on what we do.

"That doesn't help."

"You pick."

He pauses for a little bit, "We can swim."

Oki.

We arrive at his house and we go inside to change. I see Owen, Mike, Tony, and Natalia already outside swimming.

I borrow one of Vivi's swimsuits again, picking a very covering top and regular bottoms.

"You take forever Ron" I call out to Aaron, who is still changing. "Shut it." He grumbles, coming out of his room in just his cute little swim trunks.

My eyes are on him longer than they should, and the memory of him on top of me as I....flashes into my mind.

"Don't look at me like that." He approaches me, a smirk on his face and his hand reaching for my waist and for the first time ever I pull back before his hand wraps around me.

All the extra fat in your body just sunk to your stomach.

Her words ring in my head, and Ron's hurt look on his face feels like knives to my heart. I smile at him, "We are not doing that right now, let's swim." I say with a joking voice, hoping he thinks I backed away to avoid being late to swimming.

"Buzzkill." He mutters, making me smack him lightly as we walk. "Sex feen." I mumble back.

"Uh huh." He says, his hand on the small of my back as we walk outside. The sun has set and the pool lights are neon colors, looking insanely cool.

"Look who showed up!" Owen gets out of the water and gives me a big hug, his wet body very cold against my dry skin.

"Hello" I say to him, wrapping my arms around his torso to hug him back.

"Looking hot, Lina" He looks me up and down. I blush at his compliment, for some reason it makes me feel a whole lot better about myself. I needed a confidence boost.

"Fuck off" Ron says to him, and Owen just winks at me.

In the hot tub, Natalia, Mike, and Tony are all relaxing and having drinks, so the three of us walk over and join them. No drinks for me, though.

The warm water feels amazing in the colder night, even though the hot tub is a billion degrees. I have to get in slowly, the water feeling like it is burning my skin. Once I am adjusted, though, it feels amazing.

Everyone is talking about random things and I let myself relax.

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