I really was trying but truthfully I don't think it was even because I wasn't strong enough. I think it was because I was turned on.

She was practically breathing on my neck, whispering encouragement into my ear, and her grip around my neck was enough to make me throb between my legs. I was distracted.

I attempted to move out of her grip using the technique she told me only for her grip to tighten. Before I knew what I was doing a small moan slipped from my mouth. I felt her grip loosen completely before she shoved me.

"Really Brandy? Do you think about anything else?" She asked, annoyance laced all through her tone.

"Mmcht—you know I think about more then sex. I can't help that it was turning me on though."

"Ew—you sound like a man. You are more than capable of controlling your sexual urges.." She said as she started to grab her things.

"Well I didn't know I had to control them around my wife... come on Mo you're doing the most right now, it was a joke."

"Oh, I'm doing the most?!" She yelled as she finally turned to face me giving me her full attention now. Her things had now taken a backseat and I could tell I hit a nerve.

"Yeah, you are—look I know you want me to be safe but I'm good. I don't need to do all of this." I said before leaning against the treadmill so I didn't have to support all of my weight.

"I'm doing too much because I want you to be safe?" She asked as her arms folded across her chest.

"I am safe though. I have three security guards now. Thanks to you.."

"Brandy, please! You and I both know you're not going to allow them to go with you everywhere because you're hard headed."

"Oh I'm hard headed? I told you I didn't want to do this shit in the first place!"

"Okay, fine then I'll leave you alone about it. You don't care about your safety then I sure as hell won't either!" She yelled back before gathering her belongings again and heading for the door.

"Yeah that sounds typical of you. You don't get the answer you want so now you'll be mad at me for who knows how long.." I sighed as I moved to do the same.

I gathered my phone and water bottle as I felt her eyes on me and tried my best to ignore it. Instead of replying I heard the door open and close causing me to turn around to find I was left alone in our home gym.

••

"Lo, was I wrong?" I asked speaking to Lauren through our FaceTime call.

"You were very wrong... she was just trying to help and think about it from her perspective. She had to see you beat up knowing she wasn't there to stop it.." She said and I sighed digging my hand the bowl of popcorn on my lap.

"I get that but she's been pushing me to do all these things because of her fears and because I was finally honest about how I feel about it now I'm wrong." I said before eating a couple pieces of the popcorn.

"Yeah but it's not what you say it's how you say it... you told her she was doing too much and before that you tried to have sex with her. That's not weird." She replied.

"So maybe I shouldn't have turned that moment into that, but it wasn't intentional the moan slipped out and usually we would've laughed it off."

"Well clearly she wasn't in a joking mood. Is she still at the house?" She asked and I shook my head head before saying, "No she left out of here before I made it upstairs and I'm trying not to be petty about the fact that she turned her location off."

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