lessons in caregiving - minsung (extended oneshot)

ahah, oh wait, do you actually want me to be your caregiver?

MINHO —

   It happened to be three tense days later, when Jisung finally got Minho to have that conversation he'd promised him.

   With Jisung having asked him out to a quiet corner of a fallen-leaf-coated park, Minho sat across from his boyfriend at their chosen picnic table, sighing deeply and shakily. This was where it all ended.

   The air was crisp and cold and Jisung's round cheeks were going pink with the chill of the late-autumn breeze. Minho would have much rather just sat next to him and wrapped him up in his coat to keep him warm, staying close. Instead, he was here trying to cough up the words that would end their relationship.

   This morning he'd woken up at Chan's again, and promptly (being back in his adult headspace), screamed. Jisung saw him little again. For an extended period of time. He could only imagine the way Jisung must have watched in horror as his boyfriend behaved like a child.

 "I'm just... I'm sorry, Ji. I'm not who you thought I was. I'm not the boyfriend you wanted. I... uh—" Minho took in a sharp inhale as he fumbled over his words, mostly because he didn't want to say this. "You don't have to stay because you feel bad for me. I guess it's better this way. You had to find out sometime. I could only pretend to be that tough for so long... So you can break up with me, because I'm... I'm a liar and a stupid baby." His head snapped down, and he reached to cover his face with his hands.

   "Minho." Jisung leaned forward and propped up his elbows on the table, gently swatting Minho's hands away; watching Minho's eyes come open wide as he placed his hands on each of his cheeks and tilted his face up.

    Minho looked back at his boyfriend with desperate eyes, too afraid to hope. Jisung's delicate hands were so warm he felt himself start to melt under them, as an aching grew at the back of his throat.

    "You know I've been waiting, haven't you?" Jisung uttered, head tilted.

    "For what?"

    "For you to stop pretending to be someone you're not. This... I don't know... aloof, hot-and-cold, sometimes-flirty-sometimes-not, bad boy persona you've been putting on this whole time is so obviously not you it's... almost ridiculous."

    Minho pulled back a little at that, eyes going down again. Jisung's hands came away from his face; he draped them over Minho's hands and laced their fingers in a way that made Minho's heart thump.

   ...Could it really be true?

   "That's not really what I want, Minho. I'd rather just have... well... you."

   Minho couldn't hold it back anymore. The lump in his throat grew too heavy; the pool of water in his eyes rose too deep to hold back and... It was a good thing Jisung was currently looking at their hands, fidgeting with Minho's fingers as he spoke.

   "It's crazy that we've been dating for almost three months and I still feel like... I hadn't really met you until a few days ago... Oh, shit, are you crying?"

   Sniffling, Minho hurried to shake his head and look away to hide his face. Jisung wasn't ever supposed to see him cry.

    "It's okay, I swear, it's okay." Jisung stroked over the back of Minho's hand with his thumb soothingly, but it only made  I guess you might not have noticed, but honestly, I don't give a damn if you aren't the toughest guy on campus," Jisung chuckled. "Maybe I want to be with a softie. Someone who will let me shower him in affection here and there."

    "...But that doesn't mean that you want to be with someone who acts like a little kid."

   "In all honesty, it doesn't bother me, Minho. I'll admit I was a little unsure at first... well, yeah, I'm still kinda unsure, 'cause I still don't really know what's going on, but if it helps you, I'm all for it. As far as I've seen, there's nothing wrong with it... Plus, you're absolutely adorable."

   "Stop," Minho whined, melting down and pressing his face into the table.

   Jisung grinned and reached his hand out to run his hand through Minho's hair, since he left himself open like that.

   "Minho, do you want me to be you caregiver?" he asked, suddenly. So suddenly that Minho's head snapped back up, eyes still watery, cheeks all cotton-candy pink— and not from the cold. Minho's cheeks were very, almost unbearably, warm.

   "L-like... For real?" 

   "Yeah, as long as you tell me exactly what all this stuff means," Jisung chuckled. "Chan's been talking about all this 'little space' stuff, and... I dunno. He told me to let you explain." 

   "Um... So..." Minho felt his blush flare up even harder because this was so embarrassing. But... if Jisung was for real about this, then even if it was incredibly embarrassing, he'd explaining it a shot, because he'd been dreaming of having Jisung as his caregiver for so long. "It's age regression. When I get really stressed, it feels like my head gets all fogged up and fuzzy, and I end up slipping into a headspace where it's hard for me to think like... an adult. It's hard for me to take care of myself when I'm in that headspace— that's what 'little space' is."

   "So it only happens when you're stressed?"

   "For the most part. Typically, I can keep myself from slipping if it's not a good time... like, when I'm out in public," Minho explained, avoiding the obvious, but no longer entirely applicable example of 'like when I'm with you'. "...but sometimes it's just too much."

   Jisung nodded. "And how long do you stay like that? How do you go back to... an adult headspace?"

   Minho shrugged. "Uh... it depends on how stressed I am. Sometimes I gradually come out of little space within a few hours as my stress goes down, but other times it takes a whole day. But, I can usually force myself out of little space pretty well— I just get a headache."

    Jisung hadn't stopped nodding, listening attentively as if he were taking mental notes. "Well, Minnie, I guess that makes me officially your caregiver."

    Minho almost squirmed out of embarrassment at the nickname— that was certainly not the right time for that. Regardless, he was so incredibly happy and couldn't stop himself from pitching forward to wrap Jisung in a hug from across the table.

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