lessons in caregiving - minsung (extended oneshot)

do you need chan hyung?

MINHO / JISUNG —

   "I wanna feed you cotton candy! Come here!" Jisung beamed. At least he seemed to be having a decent time, now.

   There was a lot going on at the festival, when they finally got there. In Minho's mind, and outside of it.

   Minho was terrified. He hoped, wished, and dreamed that Jisung would really just end up forgetting what happened this morning, because how could he explain that away? And worse, how could he tell Jisung about his secret? He'd been masquerading as a cliche sort of bad boy, a tough guy— the kind of person that a plush-lipped, doe-eyed hottie such as Jisung would want to be with. And what was he really? A crybaby.

   Little space  just didn't fit with that image Minho had built for himself— for Jisung, rather. Even if Jisung would've accepted him had he come clean about it sooner, it'd been nearly three months that he'd been pretending to be someone entirely different. Surely he'd feel betrayed. Minho wouldn't blame him for wanting to leave.

   That's why, even if it was all still fake, and even if it'd all be over after today, Minho begged for just one more day to be boyfriends, like nothing had ever happened.

   But it, disappointingly (even if it was rather predictable), it wasn't like that. Even though they agreed to "forget about it", it wasn't like nothing happened, because Minho found himself unable to smirk at Jisung in exaggerated efforts to make him shy and blushy, and he also found himself unable to pretend he didn't care when Jisung made any sort of move on him, starting with when Jisung had offered to hold his hand earlier (and lasting all the way to his attempts to shove cotton candy into Minho's mouth at this very moment).

   Usually, he would've either pushed Jisung away with a half-teasing air, just to look cool, as if he weren't desperate for it, as if Jisung was being too cheesy and romantic for him (because he definitely wasn't the cheesy, romantic type), or if it were really to hard to resist, he would've just put on a disinterested expression and taken Jisung's hand as if it were nothing. Because that's what Jisung wanted, right? Someone who wasn't pathetically, desperately in need of his affection?

   It was the memory of waking up in his headspace, thumb lodged in his mouth, to Jisung right there, wide-eyed, staring at him, that turned any attempts at a smirk into a wobbly, crooked, half-assed half-smile.

    Underneath the cafe's round little wooden table, when they sat down for breakfast, Minho's legs had bounced nervously, and inside the pockets of the jacket he'd shrugged on before heading out with Jisung, his hands shook. 

In his mind all day, it was: This is so gonna be my last day with Jisung— he's gonna dump me after I tell him. I'm such a baby— Ugh, I can't tell him!  But he already saw!

    He was majorly stressed out. Again. And with everything going on at the festival, with all those bright colors plastered, and booths with stuffed animals that he secretly had a strong urge to hug and pet, and nostalgic sugary treats at every corner... well, let's just say his adult headspace was slowly but surely crumbling down, leaving him plummeting into that cloudy, fuzzy state of mind.

-

   Now, Jisung?

   Even though Jisung had agreed to pretend nothing happened for the time being, he couldn't stop worrying over Minho's behavior, and what about it might be signs pointing to him... changing "mindsets"? Turning to a kid? What did one call that sort of thing? Un-growing-up? How did it work? Chan had hardly told him anything.