Draco's Hufflepuff | Emerging

Fifty-Eight: Humiliation

**

Wednesday, 5th February, 1997

To say I was depressed for the first few days after the Slytherin party was an understatement. I was filled with shame, regret, and the most overwhelming urge to go back and refuse taking the drugs. I was never going to again, that's for certain.

Draco had been very supportive and understanding, and even most of the sixth-year Slytherins had gone out of their way to ask how I'd been doing, which I had to admit, I was very appreciative of.

I hadn't told any of the girls exactly what I did at the party and gave very vague and short answers to their questions the next day. Luckily, they didn't press me about it too much, and left it alone.

I was a complete mess the Sunday after, however. I spent the entire day in tears on and off. I have been ashamed of myself a few times in the past, but that was such a deep-heated, intense level that I'd never experienced before.

I couldn't face anyone that day, and Draco made sure that we were left alone. He said to me that he felt awful and would never ask me to do something like that again. He also told me he was ashamed too, because he should have put his foot down more and insisted I wasn't to snort the coke.

I was trying to look past it all now, just chalking it down to another life experience. At least I knew what it felt like, I suppose. I should tell my friends at some point, but it wasn't going to be any time soon.

No one spoke about how intense the comedown from using narcotics was. It was unlike any sadness or despair I'd ever felt before, it was as though it was seeping into my veins and would be a part of me.

I didn't end up returning back to my dorm room until around 4:00am, and if I knew we were going to be alone, I would have wanted to sleep with Draco in his dormitory again.

**

I was sitting with Hannah in Defence Against the Dark arts, and I had to use every effort not to turn around every five seconds to look at Draco. I wouldn't want to disrespect Remus in that way, and make it appear as though I wasn't paying attention.

"Now, today class, we'll be learning all about the dark creatures, Inferius, or Inferi," Remus paced up and down the front of the classroom, "Who can tell me exactly what they are?"

Everyone looked around the silent classroom at each other, and only Hermione's hand raised in the air.

"Yes, Hermione?" Professor Lupin gestured for her to talk,

"They're re-animated corpses of dead humans, sir. They're created with rather difficult spells, as well as the Dark Arts, and Necromancy," Hermione answered confidently,

"Well done, Hermione, ten points to Gryffindor," Professor Lupin bowed at her, "Can anyone tell me what substance the Inferi are exceptionally vulnerable to?"

Again, and unsurprisingly, only Hermione's hand was raised.

"Fire, sir," Hermione said, sounding pretty pleased with herself,

"That's correct, another ten points to Gryffindor. So, even though it's unlikely you'll come across any Inferi, it's useful to have a few fire-based defensive spells under your belt that you can perform adequately," Remus explained, "There's luckily quite a few you can have in your arsenal. You have Incendio..."

Professor Lupin's voice tapered off, and for the tenth time in the half an hour we'd been sat here, I was hit with another urge to turn around and look at my beautiful Slytherin boy, only this time, I was unable to fight against it.