Winter Affliction

Part 37

Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds. But it does make the injuries more tolerable to endure. No amount of time would ever rid Cale or Alver of the grief they felt about losing their mothers at a young age but that grief could become easier with time.

Likewise, everything else that they endured in their turbulent lives wouldn't be healed with time alone. Cale wouldn't regain his connection to his family through time, it required effort and understanding of everyone involved.

And time didn't make feelings fade either.

I got engaged to Alver Crossman fifteen years ago.

Now that he thought about it, that was an insane amount of time ago. Yet the memories burned fresh in his mind and his feelings had changed an impossible amount of ways since that day. If he thought about it, he'd spent more of his life engaged to Alver than he'd spent not engaged to Alver and that was probably a cause for concern.

The older he got, the more apparent it was that they had been an ill suited match from the start. From the reasons their parents arranged the engagement all the way to their positions and choices in life, it was clear that they just weren't ever given the opportunity to be good together. As though some cruel god had arranged events to work against them time and again.

The number of letters increased.

Then Alver began to contact him through communication orbs.

And two months ago, Alver brought up visiting the Henituse Territory this upcoming spring.

Of course, Cale turned him down and told him to come in the winter. Just to be a spoiled brat.

Cale rested his cheek on the palm of his hand and stared down at the contents of his desk with a pensive feeling.

It would be his first time seeing Alver in person since everything.

Tasha left the Henituse Territory a full year after and a few months later, Alver wanted to come see him.

It was hard to put a label on his feelings.

In the past nearly two years, Cale and Alver had talked about virtually every topic under the sun. The need for secrecy vanished and after everything, it felt wrong to lie. It was easy. It was fun. Cale treasured the correspondence with Alver more than he ever had before.

But they never addressed their feelings. The nebulous nature of an engagement that neither of them asked for and both strived to get rid of.

...should I try to seduce him?

Cale sighed and leaned back in his chair, kicking his legs up onto the counter as he contemplated matters. Years of envelopes filled with Cale's unrequited love laid before him and he didn't know quite what to do with it. These days there was hardly a day that went past without some communication between Cale and his ex-fiance but what were the nature of those feelings?

Cale knew he was in love. He'd been in love before but now he was stupidly in love. Pathetically in love. Getting to know Alver better had apparently been a terrible mistake because now he had a ridiculous amount of reasons to love Alver.

And he knew that Alver loved him too, that much was evident in his dedication and affection.

...but what kind of love was it?

Love for a younger sibling or friend? Sort of like the obnoxiously overwhelming affection he endured from Jungsu, Eric, and Roksu? Or was there something else there?

We don't talk about it because I don't want to talk about it.

Alver was respectful of his boundaries, sometimes far too respectful but Cale appreciated it nonetheless, and Cale couldn't claim that he wanted to talk about Alver's feelings toward him. Or what he wanted their relationship to become. Perhaps due to confessing to Alver twice already in different ways and being gently rejected both times.