With a Pull of a Trigger

Chapter Four

Reini listened carefully, wondering if she would ever need to know the information being said by the older agent. She wondered if she would ever lie to herself, and wondered if she would, like many others, become rogue someday.

“The minute a spy convinces himself of something that is not true is the minute a spy’s downfall starts.”

Reini shook her head unconsciously as she hoisted herself up the vent from the ladder, quickly crawling away to give Eena some space. She looked behind her to see Eena throwing her purse on the vent before lifting herself up.

“You okay?” asked Reini.

“I’ve been better, I guess,” said Eena, getting her purse. “Crawling in a gown and heels definitely wasn’t something I looked forward to.”

“Only an insane person would forward to doing this,” muttered Reini. “Where does this vent lead anyway?”

“One of the guest bedrooms in the third floor,” said Eena.

Reini sighed and continued crawling. “How far are we?”

“Approximately ten meters,” said Eena.

For a few minutes, the two agents crawled in silence until Eena broke the slightly uncomfortable silence by clearing her throat. Reini stopped and looked back at her.

“Are you okay?” asked Reini.

Eena smiled slightly and nodded. Reini continued crawling and Eena followed her. “Are you?” she asked suddenly, making Reini pause for a few seconds before continuing crawling in the vent.

“What do you mean?”

Eena took a deep breath. “I saw you shake your head absently a while ago. What’s wrong?”

Reini shook her head, looking right ahead of her. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Oh come on, Reini. We’re friends. You know better than to lie to me.”

Reini paused and looked back at Eena, then leaned against the right wall of the vent, sitting down. Eena quickly sat down beside her, regarding her with concerned looks. “What’s wrong, Reini?”

Reini sighed. “Do you remember that first lesson with Miss Levalle?”

Eena nodded her head. “The one about lies?”

“Yes,” said Reini.

“Well yeah,” said Eena. “It was about lying and detecting lies.”

Reini nodded absently. “And do you remember what she said about spies who lied to themselves?”

“They go rogue, more often than not,” stated Eena. She looked at Reini and her expression softened. “Honey, you won’t go rogue.”

“So you know then,” said Reini, a hint of anger and frustration underlain her words, “you knew what was happening. What I was doing to myself.”

“Yes,” said Eena without hesitation. “It was impossible not to see, Reini.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that I was lying to myself unconsciously?” asked Reini, her voice rising in pitch as she gradually became angrier. “I thought you were my friend.”

“I was your friend,” said Eena, touching Reini’s arm and making Reini look at her. “I still am. You just have to understand that there are things you have to learn for yourself.”

Reini sighed. “I just can’t believe that I didn’t notice it sooner. I can’t believe that all this time, I tortured myself with the lies I built around me. Seeing Sam opened my eyes to the things I willingly didn’t see before.”