Is Love Worth It (DISCONTINUED)

hate

shelby pov

"Bye Scott!" I say and wave to my best friend as I exit out the school doors. School ended.

Finally!

Just because I'm smart and get good grades doesn't mean I like school. And with what happened with Ashley at lunch, I especially wanted it to end quickly today.

I headed to the parking lot and entered my car. As I sat down in the drivers seat, I laid my arms on the wheel and rested my head on top of them.

I took a deep breath and exhaled a sigh.

Part of the reason for this was because of the Ashley situation. I just don't get why she would do that all because of a guy. A kind, funny, handso-

What the heck Shelby! Ugh. What is going on with me...

Whatever. Anyways, another part was the hoodie situation. I can't believe I actually reacted like that to the scent. That's so creepy. 

Not to mention, I'm still wearing it. I didn't have the chance to find Will after school. Well, I did. I just didn't want to-

 And the last part, and the main reason, is because I do not want to go home. I hadn't gone home yesterday after hanging out with Will, which was refreshing.

But now I do have to go. 

Why don't I want to go? 

My parents! They are always fighting. I don't understand. They married eachother for a reason, right? They loved eachother!

They had me! And it was great. Life was amazing. Everything was okay. 

Until they started fighting and arguing every second of every day. For the most stupidest reasons!

The last good memory I have of all of us together was when I was 3!

3 years old! 14 years ago!! For 14 fricking years they've been like this. And I hate it. I hate it.

I hate having to hear it. I hate having no working way to block out their shouting. I hate that I have no where to go to escape. I hate how they don't ever giving a shit about me. I hate how they don't consider me being in the same house while they fight. I hate the way they never ask how I am, how school was, or if I need help with anything. 

I lift my head up from my arms and wipe under my eyes to get rid of the couple of tears that fell. I grip my hands on the wheel as I turn on the car and begin driving home.

Can I even call it home at this point? Home is supposed to be where you feel at peace, where you feel safe and comfortable, and a place where you feel loved. 

But tell me why I felt these more at Will's for one day than at my own house for my entire life. His mom was so welcoming and Tommy was loud, but funny. And Will was so sweet.

I continued driving to my current place of residence as my thoughts swarmed through my brain.

When I make it to my destination, I exit the car and walk up to the front door. I enter the house, taking a big deep breath before.

"WHY CAN'T YOU EVER DO ONE THING RIGHT JUSTIN!?!?" My mother shouted. I close my eyes tight in anger and sigh.

"AND YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFECT ANNE?!" My father yelled back. I quickly walk up the stairs and to my bedroom, not wanting to hear anymore directly from the same room.

I slam my door shut and drop my bag on the floor. I jump onto my bed, my back facing the ceiling and my face stuffed into one of my pillows.

"AAAAHHHH!" I scream, but it was muffled. My parents keep yelling back and forth and I try to cover my ears with my hands, even though I know it never works.

I lift my head up from the pillow about 2 inches. "SHUT UPPP!!!!!" I yell as loud as I can and with all my anger and disappointment in me. When my voice diminishes in my own ears, the voices of my parents fill the silence.

They didn't hear me. Of course. They never do.

I stuff my head back into my pillow.

I hate a lot of things, if you can't tell. And do you remember when I was naming a lot of things I hate? Well I forgot one important one.

I hate love. I absolutely hate it.

What's the point of it? Someone is just going to get hurt in the end. It either being from cheating, a breakup, abuse, or them dying.

I just don't see a point in it. It's a huge waste of time. 

My parents for example. They loved eachother. So why do they act like this now? Why can't they work it out? Why do they have to argue about everything?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK! WHY CAN'T I BE A KID AGAIN, WITH LOVING PARENTS WHO CARE ABOUT ME?! WHY IS THIS MY LIFE?