A Confession too Early

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(Reference chapter: Exported, Ch.58 "A Stolen Title".)
Takes place in the first book, Part 2 Orion, Ch.51 falling if it happened differently.

Jonas~~

I glare coldly at him. He's questioning my ability to handle this, stepping drastically out of line between Beta and Preeminence. Erik, my Tresais, has already misstepped way too far by threatening to expose the society and kidnapping Iris. Another expired. I am not in need of 2 defect order members. I know what I'm doing; what we're not doing is killing her, which is exactly what Colton wants to do. It's my order that he does not lay a finger on her.

quote— I clench my fist, stepping directly in front of him. "I am the Preeminence. I do not have to explain myself to you."

         "You knew the whole time, didn't you?" His eyes are wide with hurt. "You changed her Expiration Date in the databases."

         "That's enough."

         "I hope she was worth it, khaleedi."

Now it's my turn to recoil from his tone. A stab for a stab...

Seong-ho looks between my brother and me. Finally, he bows. "Preeminence," he murmurs and leaves.— end quote (51 falling).

         I'm left face to face alone with my brother, who's being a persistent pain; "You must promise that you won't kill her."

         "Why? You ordered that I don't already."

         "Because as your brother, I know you. You won't listen to me." He chews his lip and his eyes lower, refusing to meet mine. The fact I guessed right pisses me off but isn't surprising, "Disappointing," I start to walk away.

         "Why? Why do you care so much to protect that girl, Khaleedi?" he blurts. I stop in my tracks. I can't tell him that I see myself in her. That we're both expired. It would ruin my image as a ruler, though I can't fathom how he'll react either.

         "Just stop, Beta, respect my word as you should." I try to escape this conversation by just walking away, but my brother is too stubborn to get the hint. He grabs my marked arm and stops me in place. The bandage feels looser than normal under my sleeve.

         "You're avoiding the question."

         "I have my reason."

         "Then you can explain."

         I improvise a response, "Iris can be used for research. We can figure out how she lived past her perceived date."

         Colton scowls, "I think we're both aware you wouldn't use another person for experiments like that because you don't have the heart."

         "I'm Preeminence."

         "You're my brother," through his rage, he looks... hurt, "You're hiding something. Tell me, Jonas!" His grip tightening harshly over my mark.

         "I-... No. I can't tell you."

         "I won't be mad..." his tough outer shell seems to crack. For a moment, all I can see is my baby brother in him. A person I've always trusted. What happened to us after we got initiated? I suppose he was never supposed to be Beta. I shouldn't have even been Preeminence this long either. I stole his fate. Maybe if I tell him, I can step down, he can take his place as the Preeminence of our country. The rightful leader.

         "Colton..." I stall, not knowing how to phrase it. But to put it plainly, "I'm expired." A burden lifts off me; I feel as if I can take a breath for the first time. But it's quickly replaced by dread.

         My brother's grip on my arm shifts. I can feel him shake slightly. Blood drains leaving his face pale, as if he saw a ghost. I should be a ghost. His mouth opens and closes, trying to get words out. The only word he can utter is small broken: "No..." his knees seem like they could give out on him, but his hand on my arm now grips me for support, "You were supposed to die...? I was going to lose you?"

I take my wrist out of his grasp, tugging up the sleeve and displaying the bandage on it. Since it has already become loose, my thumb slips under it and slides it off in a smooth motion. For once, showing it to someone else on my own will.

7-28-14

The numbers are seen and he looks overwhelmed beyond belief, "The bombing. Andrew would—should—have killed you." His breathing is strained, the muscles visible in his neck look taut while his hands clenched in fists. Then he lurches towards me, crashing us both onto the floor. He has me pinned.

   "You should be killed," Colton seethes grudgingly.

"Will you kill me?" I ask my brother. Tears escape his eyes falling onto me. I study him carefully. Anger, worry, uncertainty, grief and pain are all things that mix into his tears.

Slowly and hesitant, I watch his right hand pull out a tool from his back pocket. I don't struggle against him when I realize he brandishes a knife. It's pressed against my neck enough to feel how much his trembling has increased. I look sadly at my sibling, knowing how this is going to end.

    "I-I'm," taking in shaky breaths, "so sorry... Jonas... please forgive me." He sobs, something I have never seen from him before– and never will see again.

    I let out final tears of my own, "Just don't hurt her."

    "This is my duty."

    "You'll be a great Preeminence, Colton," I let myself smile one last time, "I love you, khaleedi."

In less than a second, the cold blade slices swiftly against my throat. I take my last breath

And the last thing I hear is my brother's anguish.

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