ILLICIT AFFAIRS | Supernatural

001 - childhood home

chapter one, CHILDHOOD HOME

Natalie Jefferson

It has been a few weeks since I had left my home with Dean and Sam. Since then they have caught me up on their entire life story, and to be honest, they live pretty eventful lives.

They hadn't found any cases since Salem, so we've been staying at a motel is Wisconsin for a while. The place isn't as bad as the first place we stayed in, it has a damp feel to it, a lonely damp feel. It's off to the side of a highway, many miss it, few people are here so it's been nice and quiet. Exactly what Sam and Dean need.

I walk into the cold motel room and see Sam and Dean lying on their beds. It's currently five in the morning, the sun has barely risen, I haven't slept much. Actually I hardly ever sleep. Not since Salem.

I take a deep breath in and let it out before stepping forward. I walk into the bathroom and lightly close the bathroom door behind me. I turn the flickering light on and I tightly grip onto the sink as my breath starts to become uneven. As I shut my eyes, flashes of that night .

I can't forget about it. I'm a monster.

I hear a small knock on the door and I snap out of it. I turn my head and open the door. I see Sam and I smile. "Did I wake you?" I ask worry on my face. "No, I just saw the light on and wanted to see if you were ok." He states. I softly smile and nod, "thanks, I'm ok" I state.

He nods and leans on the door frame, "you can talk to me if you want. I know I don't fully understand what you're going through, but I do know loss" He explains.

I nod and take a deep breath out. "Thanks Sam, really. And again, thank you for letting me tag along, I know you and Dean are a duo so if at any point you want-" he holds his hand out in front of me, stopping me before I can continue. He tilts his head and sighs,

"Natalie, we like having you around. Seriously" he states. 
    I smile and nod, "ok, good"

"You should get back to bed" I say to him, turn off the light and walk back into the main room. "Only if you promise to try and get some sleep." He states. "And I haven't gotten much sleep anyway" he adds sadly.

"Nightmares still?" I ask. Since I've been with them, I've noticed Sam's nightmares, he has them every night. Without fail. I feel awful for him, he looks as exhausted as I do.

He goes back to his bed and I head to mine. I lay under the covers and stare up at the weirdly stained ceiling. Will I ever get over this?

:-:

A bright light touching my eye lids makes me groan in annoyance. I shift my head to the left of my bed and slowly start to open my eyes as I hear noise from the other side of the room.

I slowly sit up and brush my hand through my hair. I look in front of me and see the boys watching me from the table say right in front of the main window. "Good morning" I state. They nod and turn back to their previous activities.

"I think I found a case for us" Dean states. "Missing sailers, in Cali" He states and takes a large gulp of his coffee.

I throw the blanket off of my and step onto the carpet. I take a look at myself and realize I've really let myself go these past few weeks, a few of my toes have chipped nail polish, the white on them slowly fading away. My legs need to be shaved, and I need to get back on dressing better than I am.