you're on your own, kid

Chapter 3 - The Small Things

This is a first I thought to myself, as I helped myself to a cup of coffee from the machine. I grabbed a bar from the draw, and lay myself on the couch, swiping through TikTok, Instagram, and any other form of entertainment I could possibly find.

"You're here early," a voice said to me, and when I turned around, Alex was walking in.

"I left without looking at the clock," I laughed.

"Of course you did." She chuckled, grabbing her own cup. She came and sat beside me, talking with me like she always did. She had been, sort of, like a mother to me, Alex. She was a female figure that I never really had before, especially in the football scope. During lockdown, she saved me more times than I could count. I needed her, more than she would ever realize.

"Lena told me you took her to a party," Alex soon said, sparking up a conversation. I feared this would come up. I didn't want Alex to think I was being a bad influence when all she had been to me was good.

"Oh, it was just a small thing."

"Well, I want to say thank you."

"Thank you?" I exclaimed, nearly spitting out my water. I thought she would be angry, not grateful.

"Yeah, for being a friend to Lena. She's quite shy; doesn't warm up to people too quickly." I happily left out that I slept in her bed a few nights earlier.

"Well, she's cool."

The rest of the girls soon started to file in, grabbing their own drink of preference, and when Frido came, she plonked beside me, stealing my cup.

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

"Come on Mills, we can share." I laughed it off, and willingly let her finish the final drops of my cup.

"Where's Lena?" I asked her, not sure why I thought Frido would know where she was.

"Why do you care?" Frido asked. I rolled my eyes, giving her a slight punch.

"I can see everyone except her, and I don't want her to miss the bus."

"Then call her." I grabbed my phone, not sure whether I should give her a ring. Was it weird to do that? I mean, no, right? I'd call any of my friends. But this friendship felt different; I just wasn't sure how yet.

But before I dialed the number, Lena walked through the door, with Pia beside her. Something clicked in me. Why did I feel so weird?

As we walked out to the bus, I ran up to Ingrid from behind.

"I think," I started to say, holding onto Ingrid's shoulders, "it is Frido's turn to sit by herself."

"No no," Frido exclaimed, picking me up. "Last bus ride it was me, and the time before that, Ingrid. I think, Mila, it is your turn." I sighed, starting to fake cry but neither was buying it.

"Fine! I'll just find better friends," I retorted, laughing. I looked around to see Lena moving her suitcase underneath the bus.

"Lena 'Obi' Oberdorf," I said, walking up to her, as she grabbed her backpack off the ground.

"Yes Mila Bakker" she responded.

"Bus partner?"

"Are we 12-year-olds now?" she teased.

"Hm, yes." I grabbed her hand, pulling her onto the bus. She sat by the window and I was in the aisle. For the next five hours, we listened to music together, always laughing up some sort of storm.

"I think, Lena 'Obi' Oberdorf," I sadi to her. "You may be my new favorite bus partner."

"I am honored," she answered. "And you don't have to call me my full name every time." She chuckled and I pushed her face away.

"I like it."

"Well, Mila Bakker," she soon said. "I'll do the same."

"Well, then, you may want to get my full name correct."

"Mila isn't your full name?" she asked.

"Nope."

"What is?"

"Not telling."

"You know I can probably just look it up on your Wikipedia page," Lena laughed. I hadn't thought about that.

Mila Bakker (previously known as Ludmila Bukouski) is a Dutch professional footballer who plays as a forward for the Frauen Bundesliga club VFL Wolfsburg and the Netherlands national team. She previously played for Ajax and FC Twente.

"Ludmila Bukouski," Lena then said, in a near-perfect accent.

"That's me."

"It's very pretty. Why did you change it? Where did Bakker come from?"

"My father changed it when we moved to Enschede. Bukouski was too hard to pronounce apparently." Lena felt my mood change as I started to speak of it; of my name; of who I was, or who I wasn't.

When we arrived at the stadium, it was once again empty. There was no one around. No one in the streets. No one walking to the ground. It felt more surreal each time it happened.

I took a photo of the stadium, from the window, and Lena's face was somewhat in the photo. I posted it to my story.

Wolfsburg v Hoffenheim. Make sure to tune it @4pm

We got into the changing room, changing into our gear. I popped on the green, my name 'Bakker' sticking out to me.

"We missed you on the bus!" Ingrid exclaimed, hugging me as I sat beside her.

"Hm!" I turned away, teasing my anger.

"Frido and I were so bored without our favourite Dutchie!" I stared at her, laughing softly.

"Fine, I forgive you." She smiled, before returning to her boots. "But I have found a new bus partner now. Sorry, not sorry."

We soon went out for the game, and we came home with a 4-1 victory. We were annoyed to not have kept a clean sheet, but the three points were all we needed this early in the season. We wanted to keep pushing. That was it. That was all.

We headed back to Wolfsburg, and we knew it was going to be a late one. The trip back would take at least 5 hours, and no sooner had I stayed awake than my eyes were beginning to shut. I leaned into Lena, who sat beside me, hoping she wouldn't mind. I felt her head, soon, on top of my own, and when I woke up, we were back in Wolfsburg. It was midnight.

"You have a weirdly comfortable shoulder," I said to Lena, as we were about to head off the bus.

"Thank you?" she replied, laughing.

"Always a compliment, girl." She nodded her head, and I grabbed my bag, before walking off the bus.

"Carry me home!" I said to Ingrid, as I jumped on her back. "I don't think I can drive this tired." Ingrid dropped me home, and I only fell asleep after downing one massive sleeping pill, hoping the loneliness wouldn't wake me up.

The next few weeks I knew were going to be good, because I was heading back to Holland, to be with the National Team, and nothing was better than being with my best friend, and being at home. 

note:

- sorry for the kinda weird chapters. they r setting the scene, I like to say. not much plot. just a whole lotta vibes.