Hot Showers (Ianthony)

Chapter 10

Anthony's hands gripped tightly around the warmth of the Starbucks coffee cup in his hand. He was slumped over, head bowed so that his flap of hair fell over his eyes. The first place he had decided to go was Starbucks for obvious reasons, but he couldn't say the same about where he had ended up after picking up his caffeine fix.

After driving for about ten or so minutes, Anthony found himself at a park that had been in construction during the time period that he was graduating high school. It was finished now, but he had never taken the time to visit it until the present. He could've sat down on some swings for the amusement of the child inside him, or he could've even slid down the metal slide a couple of times. But, as it were, he was sitting on a bench, slouched and staring into his coffee.

Kids' squeals of delight were coming from behind him near the dominating play set of the park, but he resisted the urge to watch the commotion of tag or whatever other childhood game the youngsters were playing. He needed the time to think, because he really had nothing to loose right then.

Except Ian. And Smosh. And his fans...

Well, he still needed to think. He was pretty sure that Ian had come into his room last night to apologize, but it could have been a dream. Anyways, even if it wasn't a dream, he still had the right not to forgive and forget. He knew that the two would never be the same, no matter how things turned out. Boyfriends, enemies, or awkward friends. None of the three options held any real appeal at the moment, but they were all he had to grasp other than his untouched expresso.

He liked to think that caffeine helped him make decisions, so he took a sip. The warm liquid seeped down his throat and warmed him from the inside. A grimace formed on his face when he realized what the warmth reminded him of. It was essentially the same feeling that he got when he looked at Ian, or when he realized that, yes, it was love that he was feeling.

Looking at the coffee with disgust, Anthony brought it away from his lips. There was no way he was touching that liquid now.

All the memories beginning with the hot shower and ending with the present rushed at him all at once in a big sucker punch of realization. His gut began to churn uncomfortably. Tears began forming in his eyes when he unwillingly relived the fight during Lunchtime with Smosh, leading to the scene where Ian's apology was hardly audible over his combined sobbing and the fact that his head was smashed into his soft pillow. The tears began trailing down his face. Apparently, the scene was realistic enough that it didn't matter whether it was a dream or not.

Just as he was about to break out into a full-out crying session, he felt a pressure on the other end of the bench. Before he looked up to see who it was, he hurriedly wiped away his tears on his bare arms. It was a pretty woman with turquoise hair and big, dark eyes. Her appearance almost seemed to be based off of anime, but she pulled it off wonderfully. If Anthony wasn't so broken down at the moment and wasn't associated with Ian, he would have immediately begged her for her number.

He sat up straight, attempting to at least look presentable. He still wanted to impress her, even with the situation he was going through.

Attempting to be brave, he spoke, "Hi. I'm Anthony."

The woman smiled. "My name's Kalel." She let out a sigh and leaned back into the back rest of the bench. "Do you mind if I sit here? I've kind of had a rough day..."

Anthony's immediate response was, "Of course!" Then, noticing the second half of her statement, he added, "Same here."

"You having relationship problems too?"

Breathing in deeply, Anthony said, "You don't even know the extent of it..."

Kalel barked out a laugh. "I guess I'm not doing any better. Boyfriend's out of town for a year, but his friend's trying to get close to me. Of course, I'm not into him, but he's just too nice to straight-up reject. I really don't wanna hurt him."

"Damn. Uh, I mean, dang," Anthony tagged on lamely. Kalel laughed at his failed attempts to seem proper.

"Yeah. So... If you don't mind me asking, what's up with you?"

Scratching the back of his neck, Anthony replied, "Well... I kinda got into a big fight with my boy- uh, I mean girlfriend. I just really don't know how to approach the situation."

Seemingly oblivious to Anthony's slip-up, Kalel offered, "Well, I'd just try to talk it out. Running away doesn't solve problems." Then, Kalel stood. "You know, I need to practice what I preach. Thanks for talking with me." Then, she began walking down the cement jogging path to the parking lot.

Anthony thought about what Kalel had said. He really did need to stop running away and face the tasks ahead. But, for the moment, he was going to pretend that he was at the park to enjoy the sunny summer day, not try to decide the fate of his gay relationship. He turned himself sideways and sat his coffee on the ground before lying down on the bench.

The sky was a bright blue, and he couldn't help but be reminded of Ian's blue eyes, although they weren't quite that bright. Trying not to remember, he began focusing on the clouds instead, trying to see shapes in them. He could swear he saw Ian's face, but when he looked harder, all it appeared to be was a cottony mass of white.

He decided that he was going to get a sunburn if he sat out any longer, so he got up and left, tossing the cup that was still half-full into the trash.

He needed to find Ian.