Kiss The Sun

Chapter 1

"I'm telling you Brooklyn, this is what you have to do to get your name out there." Lilianna grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. The coffee shop smelled like fresh roasted coffee and the growing line was reaching the large glass doors. I focused on the figure walking towards the exit instead of meeting her gaze.

"I know, I know. But you know this is a lot for me," I said, eyes still set on the door. "I don't know these people, I don't know their music. And I'll be traveling with them in a van. No privacy, no space." I finally looked back into her doe eyes to emphasize my point. "Alone."

She sighed and ran her free hand through her brown curls. I knew this was frustrating. Not only has she been managing me and my music for the three years I've been pursuing it, but she has also been one of my best friend and biggest supporters. This was the third time she had begged me to take the offer to tour with a band as their one and only opener. She had woken me up by banging on the door of my tiny home conveniently parked in the backyard of her cottage in the outskirts of Nashville. She dragged me to our favorite coffee shop, also conveniently next door to the park where she heard me singing and decided she wanted to help me out. I'm sure she thought bringing me here would remind me of that crisp morning when she approached me and changed my life and how far we've come since then. Yet, still, I was overcome with fear. I was introverted. I couldn't get into a small van with a rock band and travel with no support. I knew myself. I couldn't do it. My dream has always been to sing, but not like this. Not traveling alone. The thought made me turn my eyes down to my coffee.

"They're a small band. Their manager said that this tour is to get their name out there as much as it is to get yours known. They're from up North, they're brothers. They're young, all around your age. It won't be huge venues. Enough of a crowd to make you feel like you're really performing, but not enough to overwhelm you. You can do this." I could tell she was trying really hard to change my mind. She had hammered these facts in my head before. Small, young, rock band. Young guys, 3 brothers, 1 best friend. Trying to bring back classic sound. From a small town in Michigan. I had heard it all. It didn't help ease my anxiety.

"I can't bring myself to feel right about it." I was almost whispering now, shaking from the caffeine and fear.

"Feel right? I thought this is what you wanted? This is why you moved here. I don't get it. Most girls would jump at the chance to tour with 4 young rockstars! I found the one person on planet earth who moved from her hometown to a brand new city to follow her dreams and then literally won't do it."

I held eye contact with the bottom of my mug. I knew deep in my gut that she was right. I knew her anger was valid. I knew it all and still I sat, silent.

"Brooklyn," She softened her voice and tried again, hand still on mine. "This is what we've been waiting for. This is your chance. You always wonder if you're good enough to be known. You are. You've been heard. They want you. They heard your music and want you. How are you going to give that up? After all you've done?"

"I'm not giving it up. I'm waiting for a better opportunity." I still couldn't look at her. I pulled my hand back and stood up. "I'm sorry, Lil. You know I want to sing. But not like this. Not alone." I turned towards the door. I heard her sigh again from behind me. I guess she was finally giving up. Maybe I was too. I took a step towards the exit.

She grabbed my arm from her seat. "What if I come with you? If I find a way to come, will you go?" She blurted out before I could get any further. I turned to face her. Her mouth was in a line, her eyebrows raised, the face she makes when she really wants me to consider what she's saying. She glared at me, the longing in her eyes calling out to me. Begging me to think of what I was doing, what I'd be refusing.

I thought of 8 year old me singing into her brand new karaoke machine on Christmas morning, "performing" for my parents. 12 year old me writing songs in her small, glittered diary. 16 year old me telling her guitar things she'd never otherwise say aloud. This has always been my dream. I'm 21 now, but deep down, I'm still that girl. I'm still every version of me that has ever been. This is still my dream. Lilianna squeezed my arm and I finally met her eyes.

"Yes."

-----------------

The screaming was at least three minutes long before I could get another word in.

"FINALLY!" She screamed again. "YOU WERE BEING SO DUMB." Beth, one of Lilianna's roommates, shouted plainly after Lilianna informed them of my change of heart. She adjusted the strap of her overalls and took a bite of my unfinished dinner.

"Oh my god can I please come? I can do your hair!!" Cat jumped from her seat. Cat, the last of the roommates, ran over to me and spun my kitchen stool to face the large mirror on the wall. "I'm thinking shaggy cut, some wispy bangs. Tons of layers," She ruffled my hair and began styling in her mind.

"Calm down there, babe. It'll be a wonder if I can get myself on the trip. You're a long shot." Lilianna laughed at her best friend, still playing with my hair in the mirror. I noticed the dark of her hair and black lace top contrasting the blondness of my hair as she ran her fingers through it, her large rings still glistened in the light.

These three girls had been my support system since I moved to Nashville three years ago to pursue my dreams of music. When Lilianna had approached me in the park one fall morning, I had no idea that later that day I'd be showing up to her house and meeting her two roommates, or that in just a few days I'd be parking my little home, that is also a van, in their backyard. Beth, feisty and spunky and the funniest person I've ever met, was an aspiring concert photographer. She shoots little shows, including all of mine, with a small publishing company that signed her a month to the day before I met her. Her dream is to travel with larger bands, but she hasn't quite gotten there yet. Cat had moved with Beth to Nashville and works at a local hair salon. She was conveniently dressed in all black, perfect not only for her name, but her cool and sleek aura. We had all helped each other for so long, Beth taking photos, Cat doing hair and makeup, and Lilianna scheduling shows. They had become family. The thought of leaving them behind made my stomach churn.

"I'm going to throw up." I stood from the barstool and pushed it back under the island.

"No. No you're not going to go hide in the bathroom. We are going shopping. Cat is cutting your hair." Beth stepped in between me and the door to the bathroom. "We have a tour to get you ready for."

I grabbed my stomach with one hand and my mouth with the other. "No like, genuinely, I'm going to be sick." She didn't budge. She raised an eyebrow.

"Who is this band anyways? Are they hot?" She put her hands in the doorframe as I tried to squeeze by.

"Oh my god you did not just ask if they were hot," I deadpanned at her. She returned the gaze. Too quickly my facade faded and I let out a laugh. She dropped her glare and laughed with me. She always knew how to get me out of my head. "Lil, are they hot?" I turned back towards her. Lilianna and Cat were scrolling on Lilianna's phone, half listening.

"I don't know, I haven't looked, but here's their music. I'm just gonna shuffle their whole discography. Let fate decide what we hear first."

That was when I had first experienced the most angelic voice I had ever heard in my life.