Pleasing | H.S.

Yellow* (One for the Money Extra)

Your eyes squeeze shut as you repeat this mantra. As you command yourself to like the pain. Because you do. You have to. You can't say it. You can't, so you won't, and you won't do this, and you won't ruin it, and it's fine, and everything is fine—

"Wait," you whisper, hands tugging on the sweaty curls at your disposal. Hard enough to capture his attention. "Wait, hold on, hold...yellow."

Just like that...it all stops. He stills, instantly. No more thrusts into your cunt, no more pinching or pulling on your clit, no more kisses to your neck. It all stops in the blink of an eye, and you hear him inhale a quick breath as his body freezes above yours.

Seconds pass. Quiet and filled with a charged, tense energy that's so eerie, you can almost hear your heart thumping in your chest.

Then, he murmurs, "Okay. Okay, m'waiting."

Your lashes flutter shut as a wince stretches across your expression. He doesn't sound upset, but maybe he is. And you can feel his cock twitching inside of you, can sense how hard he's trying to hold himself back, how difficult this must be for him to stop like this.

And you realize now that you've ruined it, and he's gonna be pissed, and he's going to end things, and he's never gonna fuck you again—

"Peach," he says softly, face still nuzzled against your shoulder. "Talk to me, what do you need? What would you like me to do?"

You don't trust your voice. Can feel the influx of tears racing up the back of your throat as you squeeze his hair harder and shake your head.

But this isn't an answer he accepts, his fingers gently tugging on your waist. "Peach, I need to hear you. I need to know what to do—"

"Nothing," you exhale, the words getting lost in his cheek as you hold on for dear life. "Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just need one second. One second and you can go, okay? I promise, I'm sorry—"

"Peach." It's not angry but it's fervent. Determined. "Don't...shit. Don't you dare fucking apologize right now, just tell me...tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to pull out? Or do you want me to stay still?"

And you want to answer, but you can't. Because there's too much happening in your head right now. In your heart. It's going faster than you think it ever has, and your lungs feel like they're going to collapse, and you want to cry—God, you want to cry. Can already feel the tears slipping down your face, fast and without mercy.

Because he's so good, and so wonderful, and so kind, and you don't deserve him. Especially after making him stop, and why did you make him stop, why did you do this, why can't you just get over it—

"Hey, hey." His head lifts, eyes finding yours as his hand comes up to cup your jaw. As delicately as he can without startling you. "Okay, it's all right. You're okay, Peach."

His lips press to the tears on your skin. Gently and with great compassion. Which, in turn, only makes you cry that much harder.

"You're okay," he whispers between slow kisses to your cheek. "Deep breath, my love. You're all right, I've got you, yeah? M'right here. Won't let you go until you want me to."

You melt into the mattress as he continues holding you to the best of his ability. As he attempts to comfort you without causing you any more pain.

"Honey, I need you to tell me what you need. What your body needs," he repeats after a moment, nose faintly brushing against yours. "Do you want me to pull out or do you want me to stay still?"

Truthfully, you aren't sure what you want. It doesn't sting the way it did before, but you're worried if he moves, the pain will return tenfold.

And the thought of him taking himself from you makes your chest ache.