An Unexpected Addition (Thilbo - Bagginshield)

Confessions

"Cheesecake..."

"By the Valar," sighed Bilbo, "There truly is no privacy around here."

"With these two gallivanting about, no, there truly isn't," agreed Thorin. "But if a certain dwarf doesn't keep his opinions and ears to himself, then we might only have to worry about one gallivanter very soon."

"If you'd just read the book we'd given you," said Kíli from beneath the blankets, "Then things would be going swimmingly at this point. But, no, ignore the nephews. We never know anything."

Bilbo swatted Kíli on the bum with a wet cloth. "Go back to sleep, you lil' rascal. We're having an adult discussion here."

"I'm an adult."

"You keep telling yourself that," muttered the King, reaching over to run his thick fingers through the youth's messy hair. "Now sleep, little bird. Your body needs the rest."

Kíli snorted. "You just wanna make kissy faces at each other. And it's about time, too. Do you have...any idea how annoying...it's been to..."

"Wow, now that's a neat trick."

"Massaging Kíli's scalp and hair knocks him right out," said Thorin a few minutes later. "His parents and I discovered it shortly after his fourth birthday. Works like a charm, more often than not."

"Ummm, huh," stuttered Bilbo, not quite sure how to ask or even talk with Thorin about the whole courting thing. "So, the dragon pipe I found in my room..."

"Was a courting gift," confirmed the King. "I expected my...intentions to be quite obvious after that, but you still didn't respond, so I assumed that either you were not amenable to my advances or perhaps I should be more subtle in my approach. My overall knowledge on hobbits is quite limited, but dwarf courtships are often very long and drawn out, depending on the family."

"We hobbits tend to move pretty slow by human standards, usually spending one or two years on our courtships," said Bilbo. "Everyone in the Shire believes that long and extended engagements will better guarantee a happy, friendly marriage. But, of course, an arrangement between two...males isn't very common. Or accepted. At all. They aren't in physical danger, like many humans would be, but marriage and respectable hobbits are meant to produce children. That's just the way it is."

"The production of children is a little more difficult amongst dwarves," confessed the King. "Only one-third of our race is born female, and not all of them wish to marry or become mothers. Because of this, children are extremely precious to us, but dwarf society realized long ago that strict male-to-female marriage was not always possible. And once a dwarf marries, it's for life, unlike many other races. We love exclusively and passionately for all our lives, once we find that single, right person."

"So, in dwarf society, a male laying with a male isn't..."

"It's still not especially common," said Thorin, "But it's not frowned upon nearly as much as it is in the realms of elves and men. Or hobbits, it would seem. The large gap between our genders leads to unique companionships at times, not all of which have to be intimate or even romantic in nature. Because of this, official marriages are not as frequent amongst dwarves as they are in other races, but when we do marry, it's for life. And ours is a love that never diminishes, even when death takes us."

"I'm just surprised that dwarves are so...open about these things compared to other races. Although it does make some sense, given the gender circumstances," admitted Bilbo. "I've misjudged you and your people so many times on so many things, it seems."

"Dwarven society's more open on this subject because of necessity," stated Thorin. And then he grimaced, face twisted in disgust. "However, Kíli's interest in that she-elf captain..."