𝐢 𝐝𝐨 ; s.c.

𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚣

"sorry, sodapop. i just wanted to get some fresh air, ya know? and i can't go where i wanna go alone," she explained, picking at her blue nail polish absently.

"yeah, cause god knows you need it," pony grumbled, lightly smacking her hands as he walked past her. "stop doin' that, echo."

"sorry." she looked to the older curtis brother who was still laying down, looking to be trying to get back to sleep. "bye, soda. sorry i woke you." she started towards the door.

he opened his eyes and turned to face ellie, smiling reassuringly at her. "it's okay, lizzie. ya don't gotta apologize."

she stopped in her tracks. "i can't really help it. if i'm sorry, i'm sorry."

"yeah, i know. but you don't have to voice it every time." he turned back around, making himself comfortable again. "have fun, honey."

"thanks. you uh, sleep well." and with that, she followed after ponyboy who was ready to head down to the lake.

sodapop curtis smiled to himself. similar to ellie, he was quite the observer, and it didn't take him long to notice how much better she looked that morning. he didn't say anything about how exhausted she appeared the past few weeks, not wanting to worsen her mental state.

that was the last thing he wanted.

he cared for the girl, and if he could, he'd rearrange the stars for her, bring her the sun which carries all the brightness in the world. he wouldn't hesitate to give her the mystical moon she constantly found herself gazing at.

if he could, he would make it rain as often as she needed so she'd be able to cry without anybody noticing.

ellie was the youngest in the gang besides ponyboy. everyone looked out for her, she was their family, just as two-bit was. they always noticed her self-destructive habits, yet somehow seemed to fail to read deeper into her person.

if not the case, they sure failed to mention it.

it's easy to point out how tired someone looks, or that they fidget with anything that's within reach. but do they notice how little she cries? do they notice how hard she tries to conform to everybody's expectations of who she should be?

elizabeth mathews was good at hiding. she hid her emotions from herself, even, refusing to allow herself to be so weak-willed. she made herself small so that everyone around her could flourish.

it was for the best.

she was the type of person to give up her seat for someone as soon as they walked into a room. she'd hush up so they could speak; she makes room for others to be content.

"so why'd you have to choose today to wake me up so early out of all days?" ponyboy asked, lighting a cigarette.

"i told you that i actually slept today," ellie shrugged, "i didn't wanna spend all day rotting in my room."

he chuckled, blowing out puffs of smoke. "couldn't ya do that even if you didn't sleep?"

"no," she scrunched up her nose, fanning the smoke away from her face. "it ain't the same. it's harder to enjoy my day when i didn't sleep, cause i started it off wrong."

"hm," pony hummed thoughtfully. "why don't you sleep, anyhow? the whole gang is always worried about you cause you don't take care of yourself anymore."

"can you sleep well when the gang is bein' too loud?"

"no, but it's not like the gang is at your house half the week."

"i never said they were. but my thoughts are loud like that, ya know?"

"that's stupid. my mind is racin' at night, too, but i manage to sleep a healthy amount. aside from today, cause you decided to wake me up for no reason."