N. Chuuya X Fem! Reader: The Territory of Gravity

26 - Saudade

"Bad dream," you sighed, leaning against the wall of the bathroom. "I guess it's the worry kicking in, who knows. I can't remember any of it, and I hope that's for the better."

Chuuya stayed silent, merely helping you up in favour of saying anything.

"On the brat side, there isn't a parasite growing inside of me," you shrugged, voice still hoarse. 

"You dodged a bullet there," Chuuya agreed, nudging you into the bed. "I'll be out if you need something, try not to die again."

"You're acting like we haven't shared a bed before," you yawned, tugging on his wrist. 

Annoyingly, the nightmare had taken all your energy out of you, causing the exhaustion to kick in. While you would probably regret this in the morning, the current you was too tired to even figure out issue at hand.

"Fine," Chuuya choked out, gingerly getting under the blanket.

"Good," you hummed, latching onto him instantly.

Chuuya had a tendency of staying up late, often due to paranoia of nighttime crime. Ever since Verlaine had killed his friends six years ago, he'd been extremely on edge. It was a reasonable response, of course, since he didn't want anything to happen to his other friends, if he could even call Dazai or you that at the time. Still, tonight, he fell asleep faster than ever, one arm wrapped loosely around you and pulling you onto his chest.

When he woke up the next morning to the sound of his blaring alarm, the first thing he noticed was the lack of your presence, leaving the bed colder than he would have liked to admit. He regretfully got up, peeling the blanket off himself as he made his way to the bathroom, only to get distracted by the smell of soup.

"What the hell are you doing woman?" Chuuya yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Oh, you're awake," you smiled, turning to face him. "Just making breakfast, it's the least I could do."

"I usually just cut fruit, how long have you even been awake?" Chuuya gaped.

"Half an hour now, slept longer than usual," you shrugged. "And you seemed exhausted as shit, so I didn't bother waking you."

Chuuya turned to look at the clock.

It read 06:10, which wasn't surprising considering Chuuya tended to sleep late and wake up late. But that meant that you'd been up since 05:30, and in the four years where you were part of the mafia, you'd never willingly gotten up early. In fact, the one time he'd been sent by Mori to fetch you, you nearly slapped him for bothering you in the morning.

"Did I grow a pair of wings like the angel I am?" You asked, not bothering to look up from the stove. "Stop staring, I can feel your eyes on me."

"Sorry," Chuuya mumbled sheepishly. "Since when do you get up early?"

"Since I started working during the day rather than at absurd hours in the night," you responded. "Not like I'm getting any sleep at night, what with Osamu being around."

You realised what that sounded like far too late, Chuuya's laughter ringing in your ears as you desperately tried to defend yourself. Still, you couldn't help but laugh along, the irony being far too funny for you.

"So that's what you're up to nowadays, huh?" Chuuya smirked.

"One more time and you'll be cutting an apple for yourself."

"Sure, sure," he snorted, leaving the room to go brush his teeth and get ready.

You found yourself smiling even after he'd left the room, freezing instantly upon realisation. Sighing, you returned to your blank stare. After all, if anyone found out how precious Chuuya was to you, he wouldn't walk out of this war alive. Him, Kouyou, Akutagawa and Gin... if any of them were to leave the battlefield unscathed, you would be eternally grateful. You set down two bowls, still deep in thought. Just then, Chuuya returned wearing his work clothes, taking a seat opposite you.

"We get information on your friends today," Chuuya began, curious as to what your reaction would be.

"As long as they're all alive, it'll be fine," you breathed out, a hopeful smile gracing your face.

One of the types of love people rarely talk about, is the love that remains after the person who you held that love for no longer does.

The three years that you and Chuuya spent apart, you never stopped loving him. While it was mostly memories of the stupid things you would do when you had the time, or the various drinks you'd made the other chug upon reccommendation, it was still real once upon a time. The closest feeling to describe it was nostalgia, when you felt old memories resurfacing whenever something reminded you of your Port Mafia days.

But this was all real, it wasn't just a memory anymore.

The love that once was could turn into the love that could be, should you allow yourself to become vulnerable with the four of them once more.

As long as it didn't turn into the love that could have been.

A/N: this is basically a 25th (official) chapter special bc I needed some fluff before we approach the territory called ch. 88, ch. 101 and ch. 109. I refuse to get into that without mentally preparing beforehand

anyways next up we've got yosano's backstory + some angst bw these two maybe

also we'll get to see how/why dazai and mc actually ended up together eventually for sure, maybe next chapter already idk