Where Did It Go Wrong?

Pilot

Most people have Daddy issues. Other people have Mommy issues. But how often do you meet somebody with both? Well, in this book, im gonna put you in the eyes of someone who does.

September 27, 2008

Meilana Treu Jenkins. Thats the name they gave to me. I've been an early bird since birth. My due date was October 30, but i needed to get out of her. Her being Michelle Alana Jenkins. My mother. Or rather that's what God told me she was. But she never really acted like it.

From birth, doctors told them i had a fierce spirit. I guess since my lung collapsed from my screaming. Oh did i forget someone? Thats right. Him. Him being Leland Meical Holden. My father. Or, once again, what God told me he was. But he only acted like it when he wanted to.

Of course, after a baby is first born, the parents dedicate themselves to the newly life. "I promise to protect you with my heart", "Your so beautiful", "I love you". And of course those statements never stay. For me, rather.

3 years after i was born, my parents slowly faded away. My dad left to go get another woman pregnant. I looked alot like him though. Which caused my mom to take it out on me. I didn't ask to be born into this shity cycle. I was better off being raised by elephants than these two. Even after my dad cheated, he still fought to see me. And even though she hated me, she never let me leave her. "I gave birth to her so i have the right to keep her from you." She always said. "Well i put her inside you so i have to right to atleast see her." He always responded. This went on for a long time until she finally gave up.

September 26, 2014

Banging at the door. We always knew it was him. At this point, my mom refused to open the door. My soft steps could be heard going down the stairs. I opened the door quietly. 2,000 kisses touch my face as I'm lifted off the ground. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi princess. Or should i say, birthday girl!" He said. He seemed more excited for my birthday then i was. "But daddy my birthdays not until tomorrow!" I giggled. He didn't respond, just hugged me tight.

"You know the drill, is she sleep?" He asked. We made a routine out of this since my mom never allowed my dad to even lay an eye on me. I softly ran upstairs and put an ear against her door. I heard her snores which made me smile. I ran back downstairs only putting a thumb up, he knew what it meant.

He helped me put my jacket and shoes on, even while i was still in my pajamas. He figured it was too risky to go back upstairs and get clothes.

We got in his car and even though it was illegal, he always let me sit in the front. My dad has been to jail plenty of times before and after i was born. It never really stopped him though. He broke even the simplest rules. Just to feel as if he had power of some sort.

We arrived to his apartment. But something in my soul felt off. As if something changed from the last time i had been here, which was only 3 months ago.

He parked the car and looked at me. Yeah, something definitely changed. "Lana, baby, i have someone in here for you to meet. She's very sweet and i think you two will get along well. She was supposed to have your sibling some years ago but she miscarried. Meaning she lost the baby. But we're together meaning she's gonna be in your life now. But it's your call if you like her or not. Okay?" He explained. My little brain only understood 3 of the words he said but i still responded "Okay" as if i understood everything he said. I just wanted to get out of this cold car and go straight to my room, which i missed so much.

He carried me all the way to the apartment door as if i was still that little 2 year old that couldn't walk because my parents refused to let me "grow up too fast".

He opened the door and she stood there as if she had been waiting. "Lana, this is Angelina. Angelina, this is my daughter Meilana." He said. I stood there frozen. She smiled at me and reached out for a hug. I looked at my dad for confirmation. He only said "It's okay baby" and gave me a little push. She hugged me tightly but i didn't hug back. The only person i ever hugged has always been my dad. In my opinion, his hugs are better.

"So she's not too big on hugs i see, that's okay. I get this is all new to you sweetheart." She said, softly. I nodded. I felt myself become over-stimulated and i ran to my room and hid under my bed. I always did this in awkward situations and my dad noticed it too. I started crying. I didn't really know why.

Moments pass and my dad knocks on my already open door. "Lana, come here baby." He looks at me under my bed as if I've did this a thousand times. Well, i probably have. I shake my head no. He runs his hands down his face and whispers "fuck". He knows it's gonna take a long pep talk to get me from under my bed. He closes the door and locks it. He sits on the floor on the side of the bed where my feet are. Theres a long silence before he finally starts.

He sighs and starts repeating the same speech I've heard a million times. About how i have to adjust to change and how life only gets harder. Then his ending, in which he bribes me with McDonald's. Any normal kid would've immediately got up. But too bad i wasn't all that normal. "Whats my money limit?" I asked. He slid a 10 dollar bill under the bed. Thats enough for a happy meal and a small milkshake. I smile knowing i won this game once again. I snatch the money and put it in my jacket pocket. I finally get up from under my bed and sit next to my dad, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Is this gonna be your way of getting money out of me in the future kiddo?" He asked. "More than likely." I responded. He laughed and palmed his face. This is anything a little girl could want. A dad to show her what real love is. But little did i know, this wouldn't last too much longer.