Wither & Bloom

VI - All Things End

But then again, that was not the question she was supposed to contemplate. The real question was raw and simple. Yet she found it more complicated to answer. Does she still love him?

Pondering made Suzy gather all her self-contained thoughts and chose to be subjective about them, which she seldomly did all this time. Her feelings were long forgotten, like a nameless creek that is a minor tributary of an entire river.

As she rediscovered her own emotions, though some part of them were conflicting, she had realized — all the fondness she used to feel for him might have gotten awfully dry, but they weren't dead.

"You're not making it easy for me." Suzy mumbled while she laid a finger to graze Joohyuk's face imprinted on the image.

Before she knew it, her vision was getting blurry with welled up tears. To halt a drop from rolling down her cheek, she wiped her eyes ahead.

Some part of her must have died just by remembering him, yet some part of her comes alive each time she chooses to do so. 

As she already knows the answer to the first question, she did not bother to think so hard about the second one. Suzy thought the answer to it would also be eventually positive if she puts an effort for that to be the case.

Though the defensive wall she has built around her heart was still up, the reasons to break it were clearer than ever and why it would be hopefully worth it to do so.

"Once you've finally decided on what you want, whether to accept or reject him, do not allow a doubtful sentiment disturb you from reaching out and communicating your decision with him when you're finally ready. Be honest with him and yourself."

Suzy listened to the echoes of the counselor's advice once more. She let go of the photo album on the table top, then grabbed her phone and opened the messages from Joohyuk that she have purposefully left unread. It was him apologizing for the last conversation they had. Replying to it now was long overdue as it has been two weeks since then. Yet in that length of time, she was able set things alight in her mind without someone else's fuel.

She then proceeded to type a few words, but quickly erased them.

"Should I really do this?" She asked herself a little frustrated, but actually more of embarrased to be the one to reach out after weeks of dismissiveness.

She lightly shook her head as if to literally shake the thoughts off her mind. "Be honest," Suzy uttered to herself convincingly. However, instead of sending a message, she chose to call him.

- - -

Lying prone in his bed asleep, Joohyuk heard his phone ringing. He had no strength to pick it up from the nightstand so he ignored it, thinking the caller would dial him once more if it's really urgent. When the buzzing ceased, Joohyuk smiled in contentment.

With his eyes still closed, he waited for a few moments, trying to sense if his phone would ring again.

When he did not hear a sound, he pulled the duvet better up his body, tucking himself in as he planned to go back to sleep. Not so long after he drifted off to slumber, another call stirred him awake.

He lazily got up and sat on the bed, yawning before he blindly reached for his phone. "It's so late, jinjja. If this is about a case, I would-" Joohyuk was unable to finish his sentence as he finally saw who was calling him twice in a row now.

He immediately swiped right to connect himself to the other end of the line. He was not expecting it to be Suzy, especially not after quite a long time of giving her space which she seemed to like.