Psychopathy

Chapter 59- Refusal

"You seem like the kind of nurse that can get anyone to do what you need them to do," Akilah mentioned, and the nurse chuckled sadly. Reid had to agree with that assessment. She looked around the same age as his mother and he had to guess that she'd been a nurse as long as he'd been alive, if not longer. She knew a thing or two because she'd seen a thing or two. And though she was small, maybe only 5'4", Reid wouldn't want to mess with her. She'd probably be able to fold him like a lawn chair.

"Believe me, I've tried. I told her if she didn't eat, we'd have to put the feeding tube back in. She told me that she'd rip it out when I wasn't looking. I told her if she kept getting out of the bed, I'd put an alarm on it. She said she didn't care. I told her if she didn't shower, I'd grab a bucket and just douse her in water. She dared me to do it," Elizabeth answered. "Don't get me wrong. I love a patient who can keep up with me verbally. But it does get frustrating when she so clearly doesn't want to heal."

"There's got to be something we can do," Reid said.

"Well, I have noticed that outside of you two," Elizabeth replied, pointing to Teresa and Reid. "Only one other person from her old life has been to visit her."

"We were giving her space to adjust," Akilah argued.

"And I can appreciate that. But I don't think staying away is helping her. I think she needs to see all of you, if for no other reason than to see just how many people are in her corner. I think she needs to see just how big her support group actually is."

"She's got a point," Teresa conceded. "I think it's time for the entirety of the BAU to come see her."

"Okay. I'll let everyone know," Reid said. Before he could, though, he saw Elizabeth looking sadly at Ciara's room. While she had the sass that all veteran nurses had, he could see that she secretly grieved the pain her patients had gone through. Reid could see how sad Ciara's mental state was making her. But behind that, he saw a fierce determination to heal. If anyone could do it, Reid's money was on Elizabeth. "Is there something else?"

"In the beginning, we kept the lights on at all times and kept the blinds closed, per her request. But Ciara has the sleeping pattern of a newborn baby. Day and night mean nothing to her. So lately we've been turning the lights off at set times to try and get her used to the idea again. But every time we do, she becomes hysterical. She only calms down when the lights come back on."

"We knew that relearning night and day would be hard for her," Akilah said. "But I don't know what about the dark would make her so hysterical."

"My heart hurts for everything that poor child must have gone through. I only know what I've read in the medical records, but that doesn't paint a very clear picture," Elizabeth told them.

"She was-" Reid started, stopping when Elizabeth put a hand up.

"I don't need to know. Not from you, anyway. If I'm going to learn what happened to her, I want it to be because she trusts me enough to tell me. And I understand that may never happen. So be it."

"Elizabeth, can I ask a serious question?" Teresa wondered.

"Of course."

"In your opinion, do you think Ciara is a lost cause?" Everyone paused at the question. None of them knew how to respond, and none of them could even begin to comprehend how Teresa could ask such a question. "Will she ever be my sister again? Or is this... is this as good as we're going to get?"

"I think, deep down, Ciara wants to heal. But the bigger part of her doesn't know how, or doesn't think she's worth healing," Elizabeth said with a sigh. "She is deeply traumatized. That doesn't go away in a week, or a month, or even a year. There are parts of her that may never heal. She'll carry those scars for the rest of her life. But that doesn't make her a lost cause. Will she be the woman she was before all of this happened? I doubt it. She's been shattered, and those pieces will never come together in the same shape they were before. But they will come back together again. It's up to her, and to you, to accept her new shape."